Cartoon: DEATH BY NUGGETS (Cartoon and Column)
I’m gonna be honest about this cartoon. I don’t think I’m really doing what I should be doing with it. How often do you hear a cartoonist say that?
I like the cartoon. It made me laugh when I thought of it as I was going to sleep. But while I was drawing it I kept having second thoughts. It’s because it hits McDonald’s, who doesn’t deserve any love, but they’re harmless in this and the one I should be hitting is Facebook.
Facebook has given a platform for people to do not just stupid stuff, but truly horrible acts, like murder. There have also been rapes and assaults on Facebook Live. Even if it didn’t have all that negative crap going for it, just the constant notifications that one of my “friends” is doing a live video is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally annoying. Cut it out, fuckers.
I don’t even hate McDonald’s. I do hate that they only put half a slice of cheese on a fish sandwich. I hate with much prejudice and anger their chicken nuggets. They act like they invented the chicken nuggets and they taste what I imagine a loofah would taste like.
Anthony Bourdain, who has eaten a Yak’s fried anus, says the McDonald’s chicken nugget is the very worst thing he’s ever placed in his mouth. People who like McDonald’s nuggets, and who are not children, baffle me more than poor minorities who voted for Donald Trump. I just can’t figure that shit out.
So to sum up, Sorry, Mickey D’s but you kinda deserve it. Facebook, I’ll get you next time and I know there will be a next time. Friends, stop doing that Facebook-Live shit. Also, cut out the selfies and food pics. You’re pretty, you’re hungry, we get it. Now stop.
My next cartoon will hit injustice right in the face which should make up for me just having some fun this afternoon.
Clay Jones can be contacted at [email protected]