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Posted by on May 10, 2009 in At TMV | 7 comments

Blessed Mother’s Day to the Mothers of the World


There are many kinds of mothers…
But, there’s another definition of ‘who is really a mother’ that has both breadth and depth…. one that includes this first kind of mother, but also does not define ‘mother’ by marital status, gender, or that both mother and child are still alive, or are yet separated by circumstances beyond their control and longing for each other.

I think one short definitation of a mother is one who warmly loves and teaches, shelters and nourishes, and hopefully too, is cranky enough to ‘mean business,’ and who makes mistakes often enough but offers do-overs a-plenty, is able to say ‘Sorry,’ and ‘Good job,’ and ‘What do you mean somebody ‘bumped’ the family car ‘slightly’ on Chicken-Race-Headlights-Off Road … when you were supposed to be asleep at Arturo’s house with both his parents home?’

There are many other kinds of mothers too... any soul who nurtures any child, blood or not blood– is a mother. Any soul who watches over something that planet would be the poorer for if it were lost, is a mother. Those who nurture and heal creatures, are mothers. Those who mother whatever they find wounded at the side of the road, they are mothers too. Those who baby along something useful or important or sweet with life, are mothers….

And too, I’ve a phrase for men who mother others, often through challenging circumstances, their own children; they are both motherfather to one or more children. The phrase is, hombre con pechos, man with breasts.
I know it sounds a bit odd, but the love and kindness that flows through a man who is motherfather to children– blood or not blood… is often unending and devoted. I think of fathers and also of scout masters and assistant scoutmasters; I think of solders deployed where there are always little ones who shyly creep out to see the giant warriors and find the warriors are carrying as much candy and kindness as they are carrying fire.

I think of mothers who are alone, who are working three jobs and trying to hold everyone together and are short by midweek and who have to swallow sense of pride and ask for help and try to hold their heads up instead of down. I think of the young mothers who are determined to make it all work, even though many try to discourage them. I think of the mothers forced to surrender their children, who have been told they are unworthy of the title ‘mother,’ and I want to gently tell them, with conviction, that they are ‘life mothers,’ mothers for life regardless of the tragic circumstances long ago.

And I think of mothers who have near ‘perfect’ children who acheive the highest of high and give nary a moment’s concern, and bless them for their luck of the draw, and may it continue to be so for them. And I think of mothers who struggle to save their children’s lives, in the ER, at bedside of a thousand I.V lines, of trying with every resource in them to bring their children back from the edge of doom… who are way out there, searching the streets for their children, seeking and petitioning and holding onto hope by near miraculous means.

I think of the mothers in shelters for the homeless, I think of the grim blood in them to hold their families together, using all wits and wiles to insist it be so, by hook or crook, remaining ever vigilant.

And I think of the mothers whose children have died, in accidents, in war, and I want only to pour miel, warm honey over their hearts and tell them they are mothers of their spirit children forever, and to watch for signs of their offspring every day, for they will see their children in Nature and in odd events in so many ways.

And for those whose mothers have passed from this world, see here: “When A Good Mother Sails from This World.”

There are so many other kinds of mothers too… May all have a blessed Mother’s Day, from my mother-heart to yours…and from all of us here at TMV.

In venerable times past, the definition of a mother is a married woman who has children…

and here is an article about a stunningly unusual mother and a group of frightened, visionary people, who turned themselves inside out and rose up against the authorities for a mother’s sake.

I think you will like reading it… in a world of turmoil, it is a true story about taking all means possible to free an innocent mother who was falsely accused.

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Copyright 2009 The Moderate Voice
  • Silhouette

    “But, there’s another definition of ‘who is really a mother’ that has both breadth and depth…. one that includes this first kind of mother, but also does not define ‘mother’ by marital status, gender..”

    Sorry, no gay politics will be allowed to be interjected into mother’s day…the day after the GLBT community’s announcement of intent to blackmail Congress into destroying what’s left of the institution of marriage.

    We have a term for a male influence in a child’s life that is positive. We call it “father”, “brother”, “uncle” and so on. Gender-bending has no place in the terminology of reality. Boys have things called penises. Girls have things called vaginas. We have names that denote male family members. Those names are “father, uncle, grandfather, brother, nephew and son, stepfather, godfather etc.” We have names for female members as well, ” mother, aunt, grandmother, sister, niece, daughter, stepmother, godmother etc.”

    Please stop injecting gay politics into everything, including the english language…Now our very dialect is being “recruited”. Well, it has to be if you think about it. Even the deviants themselves know the psychological impact of a child having only two fathers or two mothers in the same bed together so one has to be “mommy” [fem] and the other “daddy” [butch] no matter what is swinging between the legs, or not..

    I’m telling you, they are weaving this insidious alternate-reality into the fabric of society on more levels than most people are willing to see. All I’m asking is that you, the reader, take notice and then make an informed decision instead of a politically-correct and blind one..

    Think. Think about why one gay partner almost always assumes a “fem’ role and one a “butch” role, no matter which gender is involved? Because they are trying to imitate heterosexual relationships. They do this because they themselves factually understand the natural intention of human sexual and child-rearing relationships on a fundamental and subconscious level. The GLBT community is asking us to revise reality, essentially. And ironically, it is the same reality they themselves are clinging onto by words like “lipstick dyke” “bull” and so on..

    Should we jump on the bandwagon with them or stand up and say “whoa, now wait a minute…hold on…”

    Mother’s day about men? Now I’ve seen everything…

    • Stolios

      Thank you, Dr. E. for another wonderful piece which beautifully strikes to the core of our collective spirit, and reaffirms the goodness which so many care to celebrate on Mother’s Day.

      And I feel compelled to say to you, Silhouette, that sometimes it’s a good idea to pause and breath deeply before hurling accusations at someone which suggest that they’re somehow part of a conspiracy to unravel the social fabric of human relationships. Dr. E’s piece is far afoot of anything involving “gay politics,” and focuses instead on honoring the instinct found within countless people to care about others, and to offer support for people who, often because of very challenging circumstances, might be in need of it. To see gay politics in this soulful type of concern for the world, especially when it’s offered in the context of a very loving blessing made on a day when so many of us seek to honor those who have most cared for us in our lives, seems unfortunately misguided and based on an impulsive and fundamentalist drive, rather than a thoughtful desire for debate. Personally, I prefer to think in depth before I see politics in the message of someone who speaks so deeply to the spirit, but that’s just me. We can all be wrong from time to time.

  • Dr. E.. . .such a beautiful blessing for Mothers of all kinds. . .thank you for this gifting to so many. . . it is sweet tender remembrance of the many faces as i read. . .may your day be wonderful on this day of Mother and mothering. . .

  • Silhouette

    Yes, for all women everywhere..

  • Teeparty

    How hurtful you are, Silhouette. I think that people such as yourself think that you are better than the homosexual person standing next to you. If “they” are given equal rights and protections, then how will you feel superior?

  • spirasol

    Jeepers, Silhouette, I think you have read clear through anything Dr. Estes meant. Though Dr. E. needs no defenders (she can take care of herself), I feel the need to step out in front of her, perhaps it is that sometimes gallantly old fashioned male thing to do.

    It is just to say that the one who nurtures has a maternal side. It’s an internal thing, regardless of your sexual equipment. Actually some women lack in the maternal quotient. I remember reading that Lennon was the doting nurturing parent while Yoko was more interested in managing their business interests. Wouldn’t it be funny if, in their household John was the recipient of Mother’s day recognition and on Father’s day Yoko took the cake?

    There are occupations that could be classified as more maternal and some men apply for the jobs. I don’t believe they are necessarily gay either.

    But let’s be clear, since you seem to be pulling the issue out of nearly thin air, Men and women with different sexual orientations seem to do a fine job nurturing each other, those around them, and their children………….

    Hats off to the nurturers………..regardless of shape or stripe color, and don’t forget Maya, mother earth……….Yes, it’s ecology day too.

    Through the roots and trunk and stalk, Mother earth leaning toward father sun………

  • dear Spirasol. .really like that last line and your heartfulness. . .

    Silhouette your comments left me seeing faces. . .faces of dear friends and families as well as some of the faces that visit this blog that are strong loving LGBT. . .and wondered if you see the faces and hearts of those you so often condemn with the judgment of hell’s fire?. . . or is any gay issue a mental trigger that engages the automatic genie that comes across as frightening, fierce, wounded and wounding that predictably tramples on wisdom, gentleness, and loving?. . .

    then a moment of clarity in the realization, i too cannot see your face. . . have only been able to see your “silhouette”. . .and the question changed to;”Silhouette tell us what you love so we can see your real face, sister?. . .

    in peace and honor

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