I thought it would never happen again. Hell’s Bells… I *PRAYED* it would never happen again. But the Obama administration has done what I thought was impossible. Some time ago I quit smoking cigarettes. It’s a terrible habit. It was shortening my life. It was driving away my friends. It smells bad. It’s just awful. But as of 3 pm this afternoon, I have news for you, President Obama. I’ll give up all of the money I was spending on green veggies, victory gardens, compact fluorescent light bulbs and napkins made from recycled paper. And I’m spending it all ON MARLBOROS BABY!

(CBS/AP) The Senate struck a historic blow against smoking in America Thursday, voting overwhelmingly to give regulators new power to limit nicotine in the cigarettes that kill nearly a half-million people a year, to drastically curtail ads that glorify tobacco and to ban flavored products aimed at spreading the habit to young people.

President Barack Obama, who has spoken of his own struggle to quit smoking, said he was eager to sign the legislation, and the House planned a vote for Friday.

Here’s your smoking law, my friend. This is one bridge too far. Smoking is awful, but we’ll pick our own good and bad habits, thank you. Light up, boys. I’ll now be “patriotic” and pay my taxes at a rate of approximately 65 dollars per carton in New York out of the 70 dollars they charge. (The rest is all “sin tax” to pay for all of their other insane spending, while claiming they want people to smoke less, while the ones they harm the most are the poor.)

Smoke’em if ya got’em!