The market went down yesterday because people are getting a little nervous about those bank stress test results. Specifically, about the fact that the banks had a chance to negotiate the findings of government auditors and fudged test results in ways that better suited their own interests. Banks with better looking books can raise capital in the market from private investors, pay off their TARP money, and be free to do what American megabanks do best—overpay their top executives.

Some people, of course, may find negotiation of test results in this manner upsetting. Even silly, and akin to negotiating the answers on a math quiz. Me, I see the potential to adopt a similar negotiating technique when it comes to personal health. Consider:

You have some blood tests and they show you have early diabetes or outrageously high cholesterol. Your doctor thinks you should change your diet and start doing more exercise. But who wants to eat vegetables and take long walks instead of stuffing up at the local burger parlor and living the life of a contented couch potato? So instead of accepting this medico’s suggestions, you negotiate (or outright dispute) your blood test results.

You might begin with an O.J. challenge. The government auditors who did the recent bank stress tests have made lots of mistakes in the past, Indeed, had they not screwed up so badly in years past, banks wouldn’t be in trouble today. The results of your own blood tests could also be the work of incompetent testers and you can therefore ignore them without any worries.

You might also adopt the old Second Amendment argument for ignoring these results. Who are some lab techs and white coated bozos to tell you what to eat or when to jump on an exercise bike? It violates the founders’ own strongly held view that everyone has a right to carry extra poundage. Look at pictures of Ben Franklin, shaped like a fire plug. George Washington had a bay window. And if you don’t fancy a conservative Second Amendment approach to blood test denial, how about the old liberal woman’s right to choose argument? Your body belongs to you, not to some do-gooder who thinks you must accommodate official health decrees.

If none of these challenges to blood test-based health results appeals to you, than the bad for the economy argument might do the trick. Local restaurants serving junk food need your patronage to survive and will have to lay off staff if you eat greens at home. Local car dealers, already on the brink, desperately need you to buy another SUV if they are to support their own kids. Are you going to hurt the interests of all these people just to please some well paid medical professionals?

There are, in fact, all kinds of ways to convince oneself that his/her own health is better than medical tests indicate, thereby avoiding a change in a toxic personal lifestyle. So why get antsy if the government’s just announced bank stress tests were so obviously and flagrantly fudged? That they are the product of negotiations with the banks being tested?

These bank tests were fudged to keep us all happier by getting us to believe the banking system is really healthier than it actually is. So, now that the negotiated results have been announced, are you happier? Has your life improved? Is credit easier to get? Have your job prospects gotten better?

Happy economic days could be just around the next green shoot. And as for those nasty, irritating blood tests…pass the salt and order me another Double Whopper with a milkshake on the side.