[icopyright one button toolbar]
Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.) distinguished himself in a very notorious yet meteoric career in Congress by, among other, decorating his Capitol Hill office in a “Downtown-Abbeyish” style the Sultan of Brunei would have killed for and by owning the only car in town with a cantankerous odometer that registered only half-a-mile for every mile of mileage reimbursement.
Today, Schock — fresh from the covers of The Harvard Lampoon and Men’s Health — took some time from his busy House gym schedule to deliver an emotional farewell speech before a packed House
The speech was in some aspects reminiscent of General Douglas MacArthur’s farewell address (“young congressmen never die; they just fade away, temporarily”) but also had the qualities of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
And indeed, the young Representative humbly compared his life and career to that of the man who, eight score and thirteen years ago, had the foresight to bequeath his seat to Schock — albeit only for one term.
But Schock got the most thunderous applause from his Republican colleagues when he said that his only regret is that he won’t be in the House when it repeals Obamacare, abolishes the IRS and eliminates food stamps.
With that, Schock yielded back the balance of his time.
This post is political satire. Another in the series “Life Imitating Satire”
Lead image: www.shutterstock.com
