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Update (No satire):
On Wednesday, Dr. Ben Carson apologized for and walked back his assertion that prisons prove that being gay is a choice.
“In a recent interview on CNN, I realized that my choice of language does not reflect fully my heart on gay issues.
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“I do not pretend to know how every individual came to their sexual orientation. I regret that my words to express that concept were hurtful and divisive. For that I apologize unreservedly to all that were offended.
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“I’m a doctor trained in multiple fields of medicine, who was blessed to work at perhaps the finest institution of medical knowledge in the world. Some of our brightest minds have looked at this debate, and up until this point there have been no definitive studies that people are born into a specific sexuality. We do know, however, that we are always born male and female. And I know that we are all made in God’s image, which means we are all deserving of respect and dignity.
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“I am not a politician and I answered a question without really thinking about it thoroughly. No excuses. I deeply regret my statement and I promise you, on this journey, I may err again, but unlike politicians when I make an error I will take full responsibility and never hide or parse words. As a human being my obligation is to learn from my mistakes and to treat all people with respect and dignity.”
Carson also said that he supports human rights and Constitutional protections for gay people and civil unions for gay couples, but he added:
I support the right of individual states to sanction gay marriage, and I support the right of individual states to deny gay marriage in their respective jurisdictions.
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“I also think that Marriage is a religious institution. Religious Marriage is an oath before God and congregation. Religious marriage must only be governed by the church. Judges and government must not be allowed to restrict religious beliefs.
Original post:
Ben Carson, one of America’s top neurosurgeons and a potential Republican candidate for president, said that Congress proves stupidity is a choice.
“A lot of people who are elected to serve in Congress are perfectly sane and intelligent when they go into Congress, yet when they come out, they are baboons. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question,” Carson said.
The renowned neurosurgeon who has done a lot of research on the correlation of intelligence and serving in Congress says that he has decided to skip serving in Congress and shoot for the highest office in the land for exactly that reason. “I just don’t want to follow the path of so many of our elected leaders who decide to run for president after one or two stints in Congress and, when elected President, are living proof that they have lost their minds while in that institution,” Carson says.
The neurosurgeon now plans to apply his findings to the area of sexual orientation, arguing that homosexuality may be a choice, too. This is a view that is in sharp contrast with that of the majority of the medical and scientific community, including the American Psychological Association.
Prisons are an excellent place to perform such research, Carson says, “because we have a captive audience there.”
Note: This piece — another one in the series, “Life Imitating Satire” — is political satire.
Lead image: www.shutterstock.com
