WASHINGTON – So let me get this straight. Flim flam artist, convenient conservative, serial philanderer and cheater, a man who ditches wives when they’re sick with cancer or MS, who’s a Freddie Mac sponge, K-Street addressee businessman with a loybbist’s touch, has won the hearts of enough Iowa evangelical Christians to now have the momentum in that state.

These people also actually believe that Newt Gingrich is a more righteous conservative than Ron Paul?

They also believe that Mitt Romney, who has a perfect family history, along with the perfect picture to boot, to go along with his “beet red… stubborn… thin-skinned” persona, isn’t good enough for Iowans, because he doesn’t call Pres. Obama a socialist, a Marxist, though he surely deserves points for not sitting on a cough in a green energy commercial paid for by Al Gore, doesn’t he?

Not in Iowa, where voters are content to stick their heads in the political sand until Mr. Gingrich smothers them with his legendary hypocrisy, because of their laughable gullibility.

Arianna Huffington weighed in late yesterday listing the faults of Newt. She should know, because back in the ’90s she was on his team, something I cover in my book, The Hillary Effect, because of her die hard Obama support during the primary season and how she utilized the Huffington Post to help him get elected, while simultaneously trying to claim no bias. But back in 1995, she wrote a piece for the Weekly Standard titled, “Why Newt Must Run.” However, she’s changed her tune, but certainly is well versed on Newt’s politics of convenience.

Newt, meanwhile, is like the crazy uncle you stay up late with after dinner, drinking and shooting the bull. He’s fun, but you’re never going to say yes to the crazy investment schemes he’s always bringing to you. (“You’re a hoot, Uncle Newt, but I’m just not sure about putting my retirement savings into your Alpaca farm idea.”)

To put it another way — and to repeat my favorite leadership metaphor — Mitt is a fox and Newt is a hedgehog. In 1953, Isaiah Berlin published an essay in which he divided leaders into two categories, foxes and hedgehogs, quoting a line from the Greek poet Archilochus: “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.” And in times of crisis and anxiety, people are often drawn to the clarity of the hedgehog.

If only Iowans were listening.

Hey, but considering I’m rooting for at least one serious independent challenger to take on the big two corrupt parties and their bought off Wall Street, insider candidates, Newt’s just the ticket to put a jet engine under that possibility.

Has anyone explained to Iowas, as well as Floridians and South Carolinians that there’s just no way Newt Gingrich can win the general election against Barack Obama? On second thought, it’s pretty frightening that would require explanation.

But if by some long shot of long shots, Newt I-love-me-I-really-really-love-me Gingrich pulls this nomination gambit off, you can bet more candidates will jump to challenge him outside the Republican and Democratic parties, because Obama vs. Gingrich would be even more depressing than Obama vs. Romney.

The 99% don’t want either of these men to run the country, because we all deserve better, this country deserves better.

Throwing a dart a candidate board with Rocky, Buddy, or a guy named Jon and a player to be named later would be far more satisfying than casting a ballot for either man, neither of whom actually offer a choice or will make a difference at all if they win. They’re flip sides of the same coin that leads us all to the same dead option end.

Taylor Marsh is the author of the new e-book, The Hillary Effect – Politics, Sexism and the Destiny of Loss, the view from a recovering partisan, chosen by Barnes and Noble as one of 4 books in the launch of “NOOK First” Featured Authors Selection. Marsh is a veteran political analyst and commentator. She has reported from the White House, been profiled in the Washington Post, The New Republic, and has been seen on C-SPAN’s Washington Journal, CNN, MSNBC, Al Jazeera English and Al Jazeera Arabic, as well as on radio across the dial and on satellite, including the BBC. Marsh lives in the Washington, D.C. area. This column is cross posted from her new media blog.