Dear President Obama:

We’ve been very patient with you and your Democratic pals. We’ve given you plenty of time to do exactly what we want done — stiff the poor and middle class big time without bothering the rich in any way. But even our patience has limits, and these limits have now been reached.

So here are your instructions. We’ve taken taxing the rich off the table. It’s off the table. Stop talking about it. Stop thinking about it. We won’t negotiate until you agree in advance on this point while allocating all economic sacrifice to lesser folks. In return, we will negotiate with you again. You should get down on your knees and thank us for making even this concession.

Some smarty pants types have said that if we hold to our present position, if the debt limit isn’t raised, if this country starts defaulting on its debt, this will have horrific consequences for the economy. Maybe so. But whose fault is that? Not ours. We ask only what’s right. Our view of what’s right. And if you won’t go along, any nasty consequences will be on your head.

Truth be told, we can’t lose any way this breaks. You collapse and do as we say, we win. You finally show some spine, don’t do as we say, the economy collapses, we win, too, because believe me, Mr. president, you’ll get the blame and we’ll win the White House in 2012. We are very skilled at apportioning political blame.

I expect your capitulation promptly!

Yours respectfully,
Representative Eric Cantor