Editor’s Note: This has been a huge week for gay rights. Vermont and Iowa gave the green-light, joining Massachusetts and Connecticut — with more states seemingly on the way and conservative GOPers’ once-potent power not quite as potent. Both sides are digging in their heels for a long — accelerating battle. In this Guest Voice post, Dalitso Njolinjo gives his perspective from England — and explains why he feels conflicted on the issue.

On Gay Marriage

by Dalitso Njolinjo

Here in England, the issue between same sex marriages has been, well a non-issue really. The Civil-Partnership Act of 2004 gave same sex couples the same contractual legal rights as heterosexual married couples. I remember when the act was made law, to some fanfare from both sides of the argument, but since then, nothing really.

Let me just say that I am hugely conflicted on this issue.

Thinking back on it today, the success of the GLBT community here in England was maybe due to their effective stewardship of the conversation in the public forum. Never did you hear a representative of the GLBT community framing their argument using religious language such as ‘marriage’ because when the average citizen thinks of that particular word, images of a couple walking down an aisle in a church are evoked. The argument of the GLBT was always discussed in terms of contractual and legal equal rights, something that the government should act to preserve and protect (sorry for my use of American phraseology).

That’s why I find myself torn when it comes to the debate in America.

I have a gay friend currently living in California. She believes that her equal rights are being infringed upon; she can’t share her partner’s health insurance and enter in many joint financial or legal contracts like many other heterosexual couples do. This in my opinion is wrong and in many cases unconstitutional, but I don’t believe that these are the issues that many ‘pro-marriage’ groups are fighting over. I believe some pro-marriage groups have legitimate, un-bigoted concerns.

I had a very religious up bringing as a Seventh Day Adventist. I had to go church every Saturday, go to weekday prayer meetings, read the bible every night before bedtime and stay away from unclean food (i.e. pork, prawns, duck). For my parents, their religion was very serious, it was a way of life and Jesus Christ was on par with their children. He was that important. I think for other religious citizens this is the case.

In fact many members of my mothers church own their own Christian businesses or own Christian organizations, so to preserve their Christian lives from secular interferences. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I remember around the time of the civil partnership act, every sermon in church was about the government infringing upon their religious rights.

‘Are they going to make me hire gays at my business?’

‘How can I allow a child to go to a gay family?’

‘Do I have to marry them at our church?’

These I believe are legitimate questions to ask. Can the government regulate religious institutions and religious businesses? What do you do when someone’s faith is in direct conflict with society’s law? When does faith impede the state?

As far as I know, no one at my mother’s church has been made to hire anyone they don’t want to hire nor have they had any gay patrons asking for their service at their business, but there is always that fear. I believe the fear is legitimate.

I am of the belief that what people do in their spare time is up to them. I don’t accept the notion that homosexual couples affect or endanger heterosexual couples. I have been with my girlfriend for eight years and in those years our relationship has suffered at the hands of heterosexual individuals, but never homosexuals. A homosexual has never told my mother how to worship her god, many heterosexual individuals have. I found out about homosexuality early in my childhood and never had it molded me into becoming a homosexual.

So I found myself very torn in the debate simmering in America. I believe all men should be treated equal and I believe in a separation between church and state. This is why I agree with the language of the British civil-partnership act. But I also agree that every citizen should have the right to faithfully practice a religion of their choosing without harming any other individual.

I think that the GLBT community in America is doing itself a disservice by fighting this war on the pro-marriage ground. They should steer this debate away from religion and make it about equal civil rights and make it into a debate on the separation of church and state.

After all: What is the difference between a soldier who fought bravely for his country and died protecting it, and just happened to be in a gay civil partnership and a heterosexual soldier with the same circumstances?

Dalitso Njolinjo lives in Northamptonshire, England. He is an aspiring writer and communications consultant. He writes that he “enjoys all things politics, sports and French. The ungodly trinity.” He also writes on his own blog.

Top cartoon by Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune. Bottom cartoon by David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star. These cartoons are copyrighted and licensed to appear on TMV. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.

UPDATE: CBS News has this report on gay marriage in the mid-West: