Like so many Americans, this Thanksgiving we are heading off to spend the holidays with family across the country. This year, Thanksgiving is going to be extra special because we are combining the holiday with a big family reunion.
As the “patriarch” of the family, I will probably be called upon to make a little speech to the gathered relatives. If I am not called upon, I will give one anyway—I have already prepared it, and it‘s a long one.
I you infer from this that I am comfortable with public speaking, the answer is yes. However, it has not always been this way.
In fact, at one time, I was simply terrified of speaking before a group. Sounds familiar?
Preparing and making speeches was an important part of the curriculum in Officer Candidate School, when I was a young cadet. Probably feeling sorry for my performance during speech classes, my instructor took me aside one day and told me about a “crutch” that he guaranteed would calm my nerves. And, lo-and-behold, it worked.
Over the years, not only did I become comfortable with public speaking, but also I even got to the point where I would actually enjoy it, especially when speaking before a mixed audience of relatively young folks.
After my final retirement, however, there were not many occasions to put my acquired talents to use or to use my “crutch,” whether I needed it or not. That is, until I was given the opportunity to speak before a large audience at the 40-year reunion of our Officer Candidate class.
The speech was on a rather serious subject, and it was going quite well until almost by second nature my “crutch” kicked in and I began to stare at my audience—mostly at the ladies—with more than just the highly recommended good ole “eye contact.” Regardless of how hard I tried, I could not let go of my crutch, until I just chuckled in the middle of my serious presentation.
I had no choice but to explain the reason for my jollity to my audience of “senior” retired officers and their wives. I had to tell them about my technique that had worked so well for me in the past when speaking to younger audiences, but just did not hack it any longer with members of my age group.
You see, my helpful instructor had explained to me, over 40 years ago, that a major reason for the apprehension we have when addressing a large group of people in a formal setting is just plain intimidation.
My instructor further confided, “Just visualize all those folks sitting in front of you to be stark naked. You will realize that they are all ordinary, vulnerable human beings just like you, and that will immediately level the playing field, and put you at ease.”
As I have already suggested, such a vision of a bunch of stark naked people worked well when addressing younger audiences, but when I used it with my “senior” classmates and their wives, my visual and mental impression was not one of how equal we were all created, but one of how equally ridiculous we all looked.
Fortunately for me, my audience was very open-minded and forgiving.
Thus, my advice to those who still need a “crutch” when addressing those gathered around for Thanksgiving dinner is: “Just focus on the naked turkey, it can‘t get any more egalitarian and any less intimidating than that, and it certainly won’t make you chuckle…unless you hate turkeys and happen to think of the Wasilla turkey massacre.”
Happy Thanksgiving!
