Are you bored by the goody-two-shoes feeling at Disneyland? Are you sick of the feeling all that happiness and joy as you watch your kids frolic at Knotts Berry Farm?
Then, wait: this is good news for you (but perhaps less so for your family):
Take your family to………Stalin World.
That’s Right! Stalin World in Lithuania was opened on April 1 as an April Fool’s joke…but it’s for real.
And, no, visitors aren’t starved to death at lunchtime. But if they sneak in, we bet they face a MEAN interrogation….
According to City Paper, a site covering the Baltic States, the park mimicking a Soviet prison camp is the product of "enterprising Lithuanian Viliumas Malinauskas…(a)60-year-old canned mushroom mogul. His park is "part open air museum—is circled by barbed wire and guard towers, and dotted with some 65 bronze and granite statues of former Soviet leaders Vladimir Lenin and Josef Stalin, and assorted communist VIPs."
And the park, with its cafe, playground and small zoo sounds like such a joy:
Organizers say it’s the first and only Soviet theme park in the world. Officially, the 30-hectare complex is called the Soviet Sculpture Garden at Grutas Park. But residents of the nearby village of Grutas have dubbed it Stalin World—a name that’s stuck.
During a recent gala opening, thousands of invited guests were greeted at the gate by an actor dressed as Stalin; a Lenin look-a-like, complete with a goatee and cap, sat fishing by a nearby pond. Guests were invited to drink shots of vodka and eat cold borscht soup from tin bowls, while loud speakers blared old communist hymns. Nearby red Soviet propaganda posters read: “There’s No Happier Youth in the World Than Soviet Youth!�
“It combines the charms of a Disneyland with the worst of the Soviet gulag prison camp,� Malinauskas told assembled journalists, including a handful from abroad who’d flown in to report on the bizarre spectacle.
The park was opened on April 1, April Fool’s Day, but it’s a dead serious venture. Malinauskas, considered one of the wealthiest men in Lithuania, launched his Stalin World project after he won a nationwide competition three years ago for rights to use Soviet-era statues that had been taken down from city squares following Lithuanian independence, and then mothballed.
Malinauskas argued that the fun-loving atmosphere around the park demonstrated Lithuanians had a healthy view of history and were finally putting the tragic Soviet past behind them. He added that he wants to develop the site, in which his Hesona mushroom company has invested some 1 million dollars, into a major tourist attraction.
Will this lead to other fun theme parks such as?
—Auchswitzland. Admission ticket is tattooed on your arm and restrooms are equipped with exotic showers. Complete with Bagel Cafe and a special sporting event: The Master Race.
—Smallpox Village, if you’re itching for a good time.
—Dysentery World. In keeping with this theme, only school food is served on the premises.
—Jim Jones Kool Aid Factory. Free samples. Guests visit only once.
—The Moderate Voice Land. For insomniacs: visitors sit at computers and read a selection of posts from TMV. Beds can be rented.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.