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Posted by on Jan 20, 2005 in At TMV | 0 comments

What The Comedians Are Saying

Here’s a collection of some Bush inaugration jokes edited down from this web collection and this one. Note one thing, though: in comedy a comedian often finds a stereotype or a perceived characteristic, then runs with it (I LOVE all political jokes by the way. And to readers who will inevitably write demanding anti-Kerry jokes: the comedy cycle is now back on the Bush administration…comedy goes in cycles):

The White House announced that Ruben Studdard is going to perform at one of the President Bush’s inauguration celebrations. Republicans said they chose Studdard because he’s one of the red states." –Conan O’Brien

"One week from tonight President Bush will be sworn in, once again, as president of the United States. This will mark only the second time in four years that he’s had his hand on a book." –Jay Leno

"President Bush has been working on his inauguration, not the actual speech but the word inaugural." –Jay Leno

"Preparations are in high gear for the Bush inauguration and it’s really beginning to look bad now for John Kerry. But everybody at the White House is very excited about the inauguration. Early today the Bush twins picked the designated driver." –David Letterman

"Trent Lott, who is in charge of the entertainment for the inaugural ceremony, announced that one of the performers at the event this year will be a singer from the Lawrence Welk show, who will sing a song written by John Ashcroft. Who says Republicans don’t know how to party? A singer from the Lawrence Welk show singing a song written by John Ashcroft? If they did that at Guantanamo Bay the Red Cross would declare cruel and unusual punishment." –Jay Leno

"It was also announced that on the night of the inauguration, President Bush will attend nine parties in one night — nine parties. Trying to break his old record at Yale." –Jay Leno

MORE FROM LENO:

  • It’s so cold in Washington for the inauguration tomorrow they might need to use jumper cables to start the president’s limo and Dick Cheney.
  • You know what’s interesting – a lot of celebrities complaining about the cost and the glamour of the inauguration. They think the millions of dollars instead of being spent on frivolous parties could be put to better use. Like the Golden Globes or the People’s Choice Awards. Something like that.
  • Actually there was one embarrassing moment today. A reporter asked President Bush if he thought of his inauguration being a gala event, and Bush said, "As long as none of them try to get married.â€?
  • Republican speech writer Peggy Noonan, says that a president’s second inaugural speech usually refers to the accomplishments of the past four years. So the good news is, it should be a really short speech.
  • CONAN O’BRIAN:

  • The big inauguration is tomorrow. In preparation today President Bush visited the National Archives and saw an original copy of The Constitution. When the president saw The Constitution he said, "There’s that thing from School House Rock!â€?
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