Recently I’ve been in a reflective mood about how to deal with family and friends and in particular those ever present past done wrongs, disputes,etc

I was reminded of an old Andy Griffith episode.

The episode deals with a husband and wife relationship where the wife constantly nagged the husband and he drank as a result. This led him to leave her and rather than admit she’d be dumped, she pretended he’d died.

After a time the husband returned to town and he and his wife had to figure out how to deal with the situation. At the end of the episode the husband, named Tom, told Andy that he and his wife and been out to ‘his grave’.

Andy joked about it but Tom responded that they had decided the grave was real. The man who drank, the man who was henpecked, the man who was driven away from his wife, that man *was* dead and buried. By the same token the wife who had nagged, who had not given understanding when it might have helped was also gone.

What a wonderful way of dealing with things. I’m not suggesting that we go to the extent they did, but when it comes to our loved ones, our family and friends, shouldn’t we all try to take the problems, the issues, the petty arguments and just agree that they are dead and buried ?


PATRICK EDABURN, Assistant Editor
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Copyright 2013 The Moderate Voice
  • JSpencer

    Thanks Patrick. This is a timely topic as we move into the holidays. I think you’re pointing out what is a test of character, meaning the will to move past unhealthy dynamics (via forgiveness, burying the hatchet, whatever it takes) and get on with the business of living – which most of us realize is a gift which shouldn’t be squandered. It seems that both people were ready to move on in the AG episode. When that isn’t the case it means some people will need to be stronger than others. That doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker though.