My Delusion or God’s Dream?
Lately I’ve been wrestling with a dream, a God-given dream I cannot shake. Or maybe it’s not a dream, maybe it’s an unrealistic expectation or an overactive imagination. Maybe it’s my dream, not God’s?
No! It’s a God given dream! It must be His dream, the kind of dream that requires faith for outcomes not yet seen, and hope for doors not yet opened. Yes, it must be one of those God-breathed, Spirit-led, miracle confirmed visions that has captured my attention. It’s a God-birthed dream I am wrestling with and contending for. . . Or is it? Maybe it’s just an escape from the realities of living?
Who gave me this dream? Is it the product of fanciful, bi-polarish, mystical thinking? Or. . . did God deposit this dream deep within me, so deep I will never shake it? Please help me answer this question, unless your answer doesn’t sit right. If your answer won’t sit right with me, then please refrain from responding. Unless I really need to hear the truth you are speaking. If you are speaking truth, then please speak up. . . Then again, maybe not. Maybe you can’t understand, or won’t understand or maybe I don’t need you to understand for me to be ok.
So what I’m saying. . . what am I saying? I’m saying I need someone to help me understand this dream. No, I’m saying I need more than understanding, I need direction, I need help, I need others to breathe life into this mysterious compulsion that complicates my daily existence. Or maybe not, maybe I need you to leave me alone with my windmill chasing fantasy. Maybe I need you to allow this foolish pursuit to continue, to allow me to pursue the endless dream without the need to defend or waiver.
Many times I’ve tried to talk myself out of this foolish conviction. I’ve tried to stand from a perspective void of God-breathed dreams. Many times I’ve tried and many times I’ve failed. You see, I just can’t shake the dream. Regardless of all the signs I see and experience on a daily basis, I cannot escape the confidence that God is leading me to a destination I’ve never seen.
Dream Led. . .
Dream woke me up this morning. Dream said, “Better follow me today.”
I said “Why?”
Dream paused and smiled, “You know why Doug. I made you, I formed you, you are hopelessly mine.”
I said to dream, “Are you God?”
Dream grabbed my hand and led me forward, “No Doug, I am not God. . . but I am the breath of God. But you already knew that.”
So dream and I are wandering the earth today, looking to partner with other emanations of the breath of God.
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