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Posted by on Jan 15, 2012 in Politics, Satire | 3 comments

Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC Ad: Mitt The Ripper

From the Super PAC now headed by Jon Stewart, Attack In B Minor For Strings, “If corporations are people, then Mitt Romney is Mitt the Ripper.” Watch:

The ad is narrated by John Lithgow, who won an Emmy for his role as a family man serial killer in season 4 of Dexter. The note and press release from Jon Stewart, who took over Colbert’s Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow Super PAC, is below. Colbert handed off the Super PAC on Thursday in order to “announce that I am forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for my possible candidacy for the President of the United States of South Carolina!”

Matt Moore, executive director of the South Carolina Republican Party, has declared “The gag is worn out.” The South Carolina Republican Party is likely not amused by Colbert’s antics. When they reported trouble financing their primary last month, Colbert offered $500,000 from his super PAC to buy and rename it “The Stephen Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Primary.” The party declined.

Colbert was on This Week this morning, not defending the ad:

Colbert is using his faux bid for the White House to draw attention to new campaign finance laws that allow unnamed donors to pour unlimited funds into super PACs, which can spend that money to support political candidates as long as they do not directly coordinate with a candidate.

“Why would you worry about what money is doing to the political process?” Colbert said, a twinge of sarcasm in his voice. “There are $11.2 million worth of ads being run in South Carolina. That just means more speech than ever before in South Carolina.” …

The Colbert super PAC ad is an obvious spoof of anti-Romney ads being run by the pro-Newt Gingrich super PAC in the Palmetto State. Gingrich has said any untrue statements should be removed from the ad, but, because the PAC does not coordinate with Gingrich, it has refused to re-edit the ads, which some say stretch the truth about Romney’s time at Bain Capital.

Colbert took a similar tone, saying he had “nothing to do” with the “serial killer” ads.

“I am not calling anyone a serial killer,” Colbert said. “That’s not my super PAC.”

The super PAC is buying up airtime on broadcast outlets in Charleston and Columbia to run ads between Jan. 15 and Jan. 19.

Stewart’s announcement:

Dear Super Pac Super People,

Hi again, it’s me, Jon. When I took over this Super PAC, I had no idea there’d be so much email-writing. Also, there are a lot of plants around Super PAC office with extremely specific watering schedules. Seriously, does a Northwood Spotted Fern really need to be watered “thrice fortnightly at dusk”?

Anyway, The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC made an ad, and I figured you’d want to know. I’ve attached the press release below, so hopefully your mouse’s scroll-wheel isn’t broken.

Jon Stewart
President For Life For Now
The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC


The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC Releases First Ad, Begins To Regret Length Of Name
AMERICA – The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC released its first TV ad today, in advance of South Carolina’s upcoming unnamed GOP Primary. The ad, which takes an objective look at Mitt Romney’s private sector experience, is entitled “Attack In B Minor For Strings.”

“Mitt Romney claims to be pro-corporations,” said Jon Stewart, President of The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC. “But would you let him date your daughter’s corporation? Americans have been clamoring for a comprehensive study of this crucial issue, so we splurged for the full sixty-second commercial. We think South Carolinians will agree – they deserve a leader who shares their state’s values, and perhaps even their state’s initials.”
The new spot begins airing today in a major ad buy that will blanket South Carolina from Charleston all the way to North Charleston. Those of you with some free AOL hours left can view the ad here.

The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, officially known as Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, is an independent, expenditure-only committee that’s been proudly serving the community since late Thursday.

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