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Warning: Life Imitating Satire Ahead
In what could be a last-ditch effort not to be outdone by his potential Democratic rival in the 2016 presidential campaign, it is now reported that Jeb Bush also used his private e-mail account when he was Florida’s governor to discuss sensitive official business.
In what appears to be a one-upwomanship tactic, Bush claims that his e-mails dealt with more important issues than those of the former first lady.
“My e-mails were not about planning weddings, family vacations or about scheduling yoga routines or other such silly things. They dealt with national security issues such as troop deployments to the Middle East and about the protection of nuclear power plants,” the former Florida governor boasted.
Asked how the security of his private e-mail system compared to Hillary Clinton’s, Bush proudly shared that security experts have said that private e-mail systems such as the ones he used are much more vulnerable to hacking.
As to Clinton’s claim that she only used one e-mail device while secretary of state, thus making it perhaps more difficult to hack her, Bush said smilingly, “Oh, I used an iPhone, an iPad, an iPod and — for very sensitive messages — an iGrill to send smoke signals.”
When told that Clinton had her private e-mail server at her Chappaqua, NY home, Bush quickly countered that he took his server home when he left office in 2007.
It is estimated that there were about 550,000 e-mails on Jeb Bush’s server when he left office and that Clinton e-mailed 62,320 times on her private address.
However, both [email protected] and clintonemail.com admit that they will never be able to match the e-mail proclivities of the George W. Bush administration. That e-mail-happy group managed to lose or delete more than 5 million e-mails (as many as 22 million may have been deleted) which were sent via a non-government domain called — you guessed it — gwb43.com, and hosted on a non-government server.
Tragically, one of the Republic of Texas’ most sensitive state secrets may have been lost in the purge: George W. Bush’s killer chili recipe — mind you, no beans.
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Breaking Update:
In the continuing scramble for media attention it is now being reported that Jeb Bush is looking for a Valerie Jarrett equivalent to help spread the good news about his e-mail adventures.
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