August 19, 2016

Note to readers: This is the latest entry in Baby DonDon’s campaign diary. The series imagines that “Mr.” Donald Trump has the emotional make-up of a five-year-old and confides his deepest thoughts—such as they are—to Andrew Feinberg, and to readers, every day. In his private moments, he always thinks of himself as Baby DonDon.

Oh, Baby DonDon is so excited! The arrival of Steve Bannon as the campaign’s new CEO means we will now officially be part of the alt-right universe. To welcome Steve we have created a new theme song called “Alt-Right Now,” sung to the tune of the 1970 rock anthem “All Right Now” by Free, with apologies to Free and white people everywhere. I hope you like it.

Alt-Right Now

There they stood in the night
Oh, man, they were lookin’ so white

I said, “Babe, that’s so great
Now maybe, baby
We’ll ditch all those people we hate.”

I said, “Hey, are you Juan?
Adios, make it Juan and done.

“Now this is new, we happy few,
Keep out every renegade Jew.”

Alt-right now, baby, it’s a-alt-right now
All white now, baby, we’re a-all white now

(Let me set you straight)
JFK had tons to lose
Then he was offed by Papa Cruz

I said, “Look, Hillary’s sick
She’s near dead, it’s just one big trick

I said “Hey, get me some bourbon, but first stomp that guy in the turban.”

She said, “Dude, what’s your plan?”
“It all starts with a HUGE Muslim ban.”

Alt-right now, baby, it’s a-alt-right now.
Hang tight now, baby, go a-all white now.

Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven (https://www.amazon.com/Four-Score-Seven-Andrew-Feinberg/dp/0692664009), a novel that imagines that Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. He also writes a daily anti-Trump humor page at https://www.facebook.com/MeBabyDonDon.