Satire: The deification of Donald Trump

In lieu of a platform, the Republican National Committee built an altar. My deep state sources furnished me with the original draft.

WHEREAS, The Republican National Committee (RNC) has significantly scaled back the size and scope of the 2020 Republican National Convention in Charlotte due to partisan advice masquerading as medical guidelines to deny the freedom of assembly and right to choose not to mask or socially distance; WHEREAS, President Donald Trump operates on gut instincts and disregards what anyone else says; WHEREAS, had the Platform Committee been able to convene in 2020, it would have endorsed genuflecting to President Donald Trump and His Administration; WHEREAS, the media is the enemy of the people and would distort what would have been in the platform, the RNC decided not to issue one;

Therefore, be it RESOLVED, That the Republican Party will continue to enthusiastically support the President’s white America-first agenda; RESOLVED, That the Republican National Convention will wait until 2024 to approve King Donald Trump’s royal edict rescinding the Constitution in favor of a MAGA Carta; RESOLVED, That the 2020 Republican National Convention calls for eliminating all news sources except One America News and Fox News if it supports the President without criticizing Him; RESOLVED, That any motion to amend this statement will result in the excommunication of the person who submitted it.

Invocation: Glory be to the bodyguard of Western Civilization and to His Son, and to His Holy Daughter and Her Husband, as it was when He first descended the escalator and will always be after He and Q vanquish the cabal of pedophiles and baby eaters conspiring to rule the world. AMEN.

Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via [email protected]. This article is reprinted from San Diego Jewish World which, along with The Moderate Voice, is a member of the San Diego Online News Association.