What holiday songs do you enjoy or hate? If you have ever worked in retail during the holiday season, then you might hate all of them. After all, if you are forced to hear the same holiday songs over and over for an entire work shift, then you might not be so jolly. This blogger knows from experience.
I avoid hearing holiday songs when I can. They make want to put my hands in the air and yell “AAUGGHH!!” the way that Charlie Brown does when Lucy freaks him out.
Alas, I can’t avoid holiday songs whenever I attend church services. One particular church holiday song puts me into Charlie-Brown mode. That song is The First Noel, which originated in the Cornwall region of England sometime prior to year 1823, which is when the song was first published. The song in its modern form is horrible from a poetic perspective.
The original Cornish version isn’t bad. Here is its first stanza as recorded in the Cornish Songbook:
“O well, O well, the Angels did say
To shepherds there in the fields did lay;
Late in the night a-folding their sheep,
A winter’s night, both cold and bleak.
O well, O well, O well, O well,
Born is the King of Israel.”
Now, here is the modern version of the same stanza:
“The first Noel the angel did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay;
In fields where they lay, keeping their sheep,
On a cold winter’s night that was so deep.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,
Born is the King of Israel.”
The modern version is comprised of lazy poetry. That is if it is supposed to be poetry.
A cold winter’s night that was so deep? Seriously? How can a night be deep?
I suppose that the night could have been deep if the shepherds were the Saracens who guarded Robin of Loxley in the film Robin Hood: Men in Tights. One of those guards did find himself in something deep:
I could ask the pastor of my new church to keep The First Noel out of the church’s worship service. However, he might not have time for my request. He is busy portraying Jim Carrey’s version of the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Yes, seriously.
Granted, the pastor does a decent job, and he certainly looks better than the 49-year-old bearded man in my church who is portraying little Cindy Lou Who.
Yes, seriously.
So, a moment may come during a church service when I impersonate Charlie Brown.
What with the Grinch and a bearded Cindy Lou Who leading the church service, my Charlie Brown impersonation would fit right in.
Oh, speaking of the Grinch, did you know that stealing Christmas isn’t the only thing that he did?
The Grinch also lost Christmas one time.
As it turns out, the Grinch really likes Christmas now. In fact, he found a way to personally profit from Christmas:
Other critters who have profited from Christmas are three talking chipmunks who made their Christmas singing debut in 1958. Alvin, Simon and Theodore are still making records. Here is their latest album:
If that album isn’t your idea of a Christmas gift, then here is something that might be:
Instead of fighting over parking spots at retail stores, this blogger prefers to spend the holiday season watching a live holiday performance such as this one:
I also prefer to watch the classic holiday films that natives of planet Melmac produced, such as
Theodor Seuss Geisel gave the world The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. I wish that he had also given us older adults something more useful to us, such as
Now for a word from this blog post’s sponsor:
Men, for another day in paradise, use this.
The “Wanted” posters say the following about David: “Wanted: A refugee from planet Melmac masquerading as a human. Loves cats. If seen, contact the Alien Task Force.”