There’s a new standard for excellence in the world. The old standard — no one could have done it better. The new standard — maybe it isn’t that good, but it could have been worse.
Ben Bernanke exemplifies this new way of judging excellence, and being rewarded for not doing things worse. He was just named Time’s “Man Of The Year.” Sure, Ben’s policies have sunk this country’s government into a mind-numbing level of new debt without improving the Main Street economy in any way discernible to anyone but economists and Wall Street traders. But you know, without Ben’s aggressive policies, it could have been worse. I guess.
When it comes to international affairs, our own President perfectly defines the new excellence. He got the Nobel Peace Prize, the highest international honor for making peace, nine days after ordering a huge expansion of a war in Afghanistan while still not fully getting us out of our horrible misadventure in Iraq. Could he have done better? That’s no longer the point. He certainly could have done worse. He could have nuked Beijing, or example. But did he? No, sir. He could have done worse, so give that man a Nobel Peace Prize.
Moving on to the world of arts. What’s the biggest bestseller on the New York Times list these days? You guessed it. “Going Rogue” by Sarah Palin. Is this the worse written book ever by someone who rightfully should be a total non-entity? Someone who instead might well be running for President on a ticket with Joe Lieberman in 2012? No, indeed. Lots of books are worse written. There are also people who more rightfully deserve to be non-entities. (including Joe Lieberman). Could Sarah’s “Rogue” book have been worse? Unquestionably. So give that woman top honors in the book field. Maybe a Booker Prize as well,
Some folks, of course, might lament the decline in public perceptions of excellence, and the awards doled out for same. Not me, though. I see it as an opportunity. That ex-wife of mine who dumped me for being a jerk, for example, will now have to apologize because I could have been worse. The credit card companies who are always bugging me for money they say I owe them will also now have to genuflect to a guy who might have borrowed more that he didn’t intend to repay but didn’t. Heck, I could have done worse lots of ways. So honor me.
And here’s the really great thing about this new excellence. There’s no way, absolutely no way, that anyone can prove that some stupid thing one did, any stupid decision one made, would not have led to worse outcomes if one hadn’t done or decided them that way. “It could have been worse” is thus the ultimate absolution for mediocre performance and outright ineptitude.
Thanks Ben. Thanks Barack. Thanks Sarah. I feel better already.