Many people do not understand my job as a piano teacher. They think how dull my j
ob must be. Little do they realize that as a Trusted Adult in a kid’s life, sometimes for a decade or more, I hear EVERYTHING. When the mom and dad have a fight and the words divorce are thrown around, the kid is impacted tremendously and may need to talk about it. Or when Dad comes home drunk and knocks the Mom to the floor and the kid tries to wake Mom up, he or she may need to talk about it. This is the family where I established a relationship with the local Battered Woman’s shelter in town.
Even though our piano families are generally upper middle class, stuff happens in every home regardless of income. The kids are impacted far more than is generally realized and much of the time they just need a sympathetic ear. This brings me to the story of Abby. Suicide is a national problem in the U.S. but when it comes close to a teen, it’s not a problem it is a potential tragedy..
Abigail ( only her mom called her that) was a 15 year old girl who had taken lessons from me since she was age 6. One July day when the temperature was in the high 90’s outside and my little window air conditioner in my studio could not keep up, I asked Abby why she wore a blouse with long sleeves – wasn’t it too hot. This made her visably upset, and then she slowly pulled her sleeve up and there were at least 100 razor cuts on her arm. It took my breath away and at that she started to relay the story.
Her boy friend, promised to take her to the Prom. She was so happy that she did not fight him off when he pushed her for sex. Now she missed her period and a drugstore pregnancy test revealed she was pregnant. What made it worse was her boyfriend dropped her off at the prom and then left with a bunch of guys to go drinking. All of this was too much for Abby to handle. She was afraid when her mother heard the news she would throw Abby out of the house. Abby said she wanted to die but did not know how to do it.
Abby was very good at playing and singing popular music, her specialty was Taylor Swift. I gave her the music to an REM song called “Everybody Hurts” and asked her to prepare it for the December student recital. She worked on the song but you could tell the lyrics were too emotional for her to really sing it properly. Here is a link to REM doing the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SriMF2bcU8c
Since our lesson was going longer than scheduled, Abby’s mom came into the house looking for her. When her mom showed up at the door to my studio, I said Abby has something to show you. Abby slowly rolled up her sleeve to show her mom the razor cuts. At that Mom and Abby joined in a hug so tight I thought they would squeeze the life out of each other.
Perhaps the REM song allowed Abby to be a little more open about her problems but it was her mother who enrolled Abby in a residential treatment program out in Colorado that REALLY made a difference in Abby’s life. The doctors at Abby’s treatment program recommended Abby get an abortion given her fragile mental state. Abby really loved Colorado and the outdoor life and after her treatment program enrolled at the Univ.of Colorado where she is now a junior and based on her last visit home is once again the happy girl I once knew. With Abby we were lucky and caught her despair early.