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Electricity provider PEPCO believes they have found the cause of the widespread power outages that hit Washington D.C. and Maryland Tuesday afternoon affecting thousands of customers, including government facilities.
The power outages occurred while Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky was declaring his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination before an adoring crowd of thousands of real Americans in Louisville Ky.
PEPCO blames the power failure on a momentary but serious imbalance of power consumption in the Washington D.C./ Maryland area, a transitory problem that may have damaged some transformers and other grid equipment.
PEPCO explains that the problem was caused by a sudden and steep spike in power consumption immediately followed by a drastic drop in demand at various locations in the area.
The only explanation PEPCO can provide for this bizarre event is the fact that Paul — at the very beginning of his announcement — reiterated the familiar, yet ominous, Tea- Party-pleasing threat of “We have come to take our country back.”
In short order, Paul followed this promise up with another warning, this time to BIG, Evil Government: “The Washington machine that gobbles up our freedoms and invades every nook and cranny of our lives must be stopped,” Paul told a jubilant audience at the Louisville Galt House hotel.
The theory is that, upon hearing Paul’s threat to take “our country back,” tens of thousands of area residents got on their computers, phones and clandestine two-way radios to make arrangements to get out of Dodge pronto — causing the spike in electricity usage.
Minutes later, when Paul vowed to stop freedom-gobbling Government dead in its tracks, federal workers went into lockdown mode, turning off lights, computer systems, etc., turning on emergency generators and scrambling into safe rooms and bunkers — causing a huge drop in electricity demand.
Crazy, you say. Well you haven’t heard all of it yet. As Ted Cruz said, “Imagine” when the 19 other Republican clowns start making their announcements.
This post is crazy political satire, but not as crazy as what we can expect in the next 18 months.
Lead photo: www.shutterstock.com
