Didn’t we know it would come to THIS? Brace yourself — because this is not a satire news story:
Santas in Australia’s largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas’s traditional “ho ho ho” greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.
Sydney’s Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say “ha ha ha” instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.
One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use “ho ho ho” because it could frighten children and was too close to “ho”, a US slang term for prostitute.
“Gimme a break,” said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.
It’s bad enough that there have been increasing rumblings among some in The Food Police that Santa is too fat and therefore a bad influence on young people. But now apparently the Don Imus controversy has imposed yet another layer of super-sensitive — and super silly — political PC.
Will the use of the term “manhole” for street covers be banned next?
If someone uses the term “male” and “female” electrical plugs at an electronics store will people soon gasp in fear — and cover their kiddies’ ears?
And what about Santa’s red cheeks? Shouldn’t cartoon and photo depictions get rid of the red? Doesn’t that suggest he’s an alcoholic? Will looking at Santa turn kids into winos?
And what about the reindeer? When they fly overhead, aren’t they setting a poor example for high sanitation standards (they must be worse than pigeons)?
There is more:
“We are talking about little kids who do not understand that “ho, ho, ho” has any other connotation and nor should they,” she told the Telegraph.
“Leave Santa alone.”
A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was “misleading” to say the company had banned Santa’s traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.
But why raise the issue at all?
One upon a time in America (and the world) people were willing to live and let live, rather than go on campaigns to parse each word, each phrase and go after someone either with a publicity campaign suggesting they are using “inappropriate” language or, even worse, send out lawyers.
But the PC police are out in force. And with each victory, they continue their scolding advance.
By the way, what about Santa’s RED COSTUME? Does this suggest a political bias?
Why would many Americans let a fat man who sets a poor physical example and who has red cheeks that some might consider to be signs of too much Jack Daniels into their homes or be perceived by little kids as someone who is somehow a friendly figure? Shouldn’t he take that friendly figure to Bally’s Fitness Center and lose some of that flab?
THIS JUST IN: Those who have urged Santas not to say “ho ho ho” have now been inducted into TMV’s highly-prestigious GET A LIFE CLUB.
The Get A Life Club Award is given to an individual, group or institution that reveals itself to need to get a deeper sense of perspective due to their obsession with P.C. or other small things blown way out of proportion. Other criteria may apply. But this is a slam-dunk induction.
Oops! “Slam-dunk” encourages children to do drugs and endanger other children by pushing them under water.
So we’ll say “shoo-in.”
But that may be offensive to the shoe industry so we’ll just say “natural.”
SOME OTHER MEDIA REACTION TO THE PC PATROL STRIKES BACK:
Most rappers (and Don Imus) would not be good Santa Clauses. Their “hos” — even in the jolly triplicate — just wouldn’t convey the proper spirit.
But ban working Santas from using “Ho, ho, ho”? That’s a realm beyond race, gender and political correctness — a new frontier in coddling kookiness.
And yet, that was the story out of Australia Thursday, where a firm that trains Santa Clauses reportedly told recruits to avoid “ho, ho, ho,” in part because it conjures American slang for a prostitute, according to The Daily Telegraph newspaper in Sydney.
…At least two red-suited rookies Down Under reportedly quit over the restriction on St. Nick’s traditional belly-shaking expression. The Telegraph reported that a representative of Westaff, which provides Santas to retail centers around the world, wrote to Australian stores explaining the company’s position.
—The San Diego Union’s story written by Greg Gross (a former colleague and editor of mine when I worked there and a superb writer) has the headline: “This year, there’s an Insanity Claus for Christmas”:
SAN DIEGO – Ho ho. . . no?
It’s about as quintessentially Christmas as you can get, that jolly “ho ho ho!,†as universal a symbol of Santa Claus as his red suit and reindeer.
Until now.
A U.S.-based employment firm that provides department-store Santas throughout Australia has asked that they refrain from using “ho ho ho!†because it might offend women.
Santa trainees are being instructed to say “Ha ha ha!†instead.
Seriously.
The Daily Telegraph newspaper in Sydney, which first broke the story, reported that at least some trainees were quitting in disgust.
A spokeswoman for Westaff, the Walnut Creek, Calif.-based employment firm whose Australian branch made the request of the Santa trainees at the request of an Australian store chain, said it only applies there.
THIS JUST IN TWO!!!
Shouldn’t IDAHO change it’s name??
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.