Let’s begin with the premise that jackrabbits, of the hare family, are related to deer. Now I don’t know if that’s true or not, and I’m not about to research it. If I were to research it and it weren’t true, it would undermine the premise, and this story would go nowhere. Of course, some smart ass reader will research it, discover that I’m completely full of it, post it in the comment section and declare the entire import of this post to be false. Others, less blinded by literalism, will understand that it’s a symbolic story and cut the zoologically challenged author some slack.
Oh, apologies to Erica Jong for the obvious reference to her excellent book in the title. This likely won’t be nearly as good as anything she writes.
So the other day I was talking to myself. Er, what I meant to say is that I was talking to the rabbits in the back yard. Anyway, I asked the rabbits if they were related to deer. They mostly looked puzzled and confused by the question, though Gretchen did twitch her ear. My impression was that they didn’t know either and didn’t want to research it any more than I did.
Here’s what I wanted to know. Why is it that deer freeze in place when they are frightened? You know the old “deer in the headlights” thing. And, since jackrabbits are related to deer, at least that’s the working premise, and since jackrabbits, like their deerish relatives, also freeze when they are frightened, I figured they’d know the answer. Hah, don’t challenge me on that one. Jackrabbits, when afraid, stop in place listening for sounds of danger nearing, then try to dart away at the last minute. I researched that part. The part about deer doing something similar I know because I used to live in the country. See CODA.
Roderick was the first to respond. He likes to drop the “e-r” and have his name pronounced Rod’rick. While his attitude can be grating, he sometimes manages a humorous quip. “Because we’re prey?” Well, fine, it probably isn’t humorous if you’re a rabbit. I think what he meant is that rabbits are made that way, and being that way puts them where they are on the food chain.
Gretchen, who was no longer twitching her ear, seemed to give the question more thought. She likes to wax philosophical and is always searching for something profound to say. After she had thought it through, and that doesn’t take long for a rabbit, she said something like this. The conversation wasn’t recorded, so this is only a paraphrase.
“Seems to me…” She always starts her deepest reflections with “Seems to me”.
“Seems to me when there’s danger, when you’re scared, you’re not sure what to do. Then you don’t do anything. You just freeze in place and hope the danger will go away. And you wait and do nothing, just hoping, but listening to hear if the danger comes closer. Then when the danger comes close enough you just run off in whatever direction you can.”
She paused for a moment before continuing her thought,
“But it doesn’t work. Waiting too long and not having a plan gives the danger the advantage.”
Everyone agreed that Gretchen was right, but no one could come up with a plan to change it. Turns out rabbits aren’t very good at planning. But, now I know why deer freeze when faced with danger, assuming the premise that deer are related to jackrabbits is correct.
——————-
CODA: Growing up in the country’s not so bad. I learned the fine arts of baling hay, combining oats and racing the ’53 Chevy with a straight six and three on the column around the mown field, fancying myself a 13 year old Parnelli Jones. I also learned how to run a manure spreader, but that’s not such a fine art. We raised quarter horses and beef cattle. We always had dogs, and my brother had a pet python that escaped from its cage. We didn’t find it until several months later when someone smelled an odd odor coming from the stereo console, but by then it was too late.
Contributor, aka tidbits. Retired attorney in complex litigation, death penalty defense and constitutional law. Former Nat’l Board Chair: Alzheimer’s Association. Served on multiple political campaigns, including two for U.S. Senator Mark O. Hatfield (R-OR). Contributing author to three legal books and multiple legal publications.