This Just In!

THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:

Bush Goes AWOL in Vietnam
Pays Emergency Visit to Alabama

President George W. Bush raised eyebrows in diplomatic circles over the weekend when he inexplicably went AWOL during his historic first visit to Vietnam.

The president had been expected to discuss such pressing issues as trade and security with Vietnamese leaders, making his mysterious disappearance all the more controversial.

But according to reporters traveling with Mr. Bush on Air Force One, the summit was ill-fated from the start, as the president was overheard muttering, “How the heck can I get out of going to Vietnam?”

Shortly after his arrival in Hanoi, Mr. Bush craftily eluded his Secret Service escorts, escaping through the window of his hotel room via a makeshift rope of bed sheets.

When the president was a no-show at a state dinner later that evening, it fell to White House spokesman Tony Snow to report to the gathering of dignitaries and reporters, “I’m afraid the president has flown the coop.”

According to Mr. Snow, Mr. Bush left behind a scrawled note on hotel stationery indicating that he had to attend to an “emergency” in Alabama.

The mystery deepened, however, when Alabama authorities issued a statement indicating that there was no evidence that the president had shown up in their state at all.

Within minutes of Mr. Bush’s disappearance from Hanoi, the Vietnamese government invited Vice President Dick Cheney to take his place, but Mr. Cheney deferred accepting that invitation five times.

“I have other priorities,” the vice president explained.

There’s more so read the whole thing. And check out Borowitz’s latest so-silly-it-must-be-real book: