Interesting Thoughts On Stereotypes
Earlier today I was having a discussion with a friend about stereotypes and one of my favorites came up, so I thought I would share it with you to consider. There are four scenarios to examine and comment on. Asssume for each that you are out in public and see a couple walking along. It is clear they are friends or co workers. Not especially close but good friends.
In scenario one the couple is two women and as they walk along a good looking woman walks past. One turns to the other and comments on the fact that the woman was quite good looking. Nothing more is said. In scenario two the situation is the same but it is a man and a woman and the woman comments to her male friend on the good looking woman.
In all likelihood you would not think much of the situation. We recognize that a person can observe that another person is good looking without any particular sexual or sensual aspect to it. We just know what pretty or attractive is.
But, change the scenario to two men, or a man and a woman who see a good looking man walk by. If the male in either situation comments on the fact that the man is good looking many people would find it to be odd and would question whether or not the male is gay.
I’ve run this scenario by a number of people and many agree that this is what would happen even though there does not seem to be any logical reason for it. Perhaps it is because the male is supposed to be the aggressor in romantic relationships so there is an assumption there. Perhaps it is just because men are supposed to be men and thus cannot have any non sexual feelings.
I’d be curious to know what people think both in terms of how they would react and how they think others would react.
5 Responses to “Interesting Thoughts On Stereotypes”
It seems like we[men] are overly concerned with protecting our idea of masculinity to those around them. Look at the popularization of the “bromance” in the media. Two guys can't just be good friends. It has to be some sort of romantic taboo.
Men who are really secure in themselves can comment on the attractiveness of another man just as easily as a work of art, car, or woman. Our deep seated puritanical values want to attach sexual connotations to everything. If you ask me, a man who is too insecure to give their opinion on another man is lacking masculinity already.
Study anthropology for the answers to your questions Grasshopper. For like monkeys we are..
There's a lot of stigma in our society around male homosexuality so if men can't comment on the attractiveness of another man I believe that is the reason. Generally speaking.
Masculinity is such a delicate flower. It's an irony that makes me giggle on a regular basis. Wife makes more money than you? The delicate flower is crushed. A man who likes to sing or cook or be primary caregiver to children or watch movies with strong female characters? Wilted. Another man thinks you're good looking? Better go punch him, or that masculinity will be dead on the vine. How can something that represents burly strong super manly-man ideals be built on such a flimsy and easily-destroyed thing as masculinity?
Another way to think about this same scenario is to put yourself in the position of the attractive passer-by, who hears the comment. Imagine yourself in the position of a man and a woman. It's an interesting thought process.
I dashed off my previous comment and it probably doesn't make much sense…. So to clarify…. I think many men don't comment on other men because they have a fear of being judged as being homos if they do comment.
As a side note, I notice many men will “take stock” of another man who has “presence” and will stand a little taller, square their shoulders or make some other small change to their posture…. It seems to be an unconscious reaction.