Dude! You will NOT believe the righteous POLLEN stash I found!

(Hat tip to Hot Air.) Yes, it seems that scientists truly have run out of things to study. Some Aussie doctors have concluded that bees behave in a similar fashion to human beings when you get them hooked on cocaine.

Australian researchers found that bees which had been given a dose of cocaine threw themselves into unusually energetic dance routines, felt compelled to “talk” to their nest mates – and even went “cold turkey” when the drugs ran out.

Rather like a cokehead in a crowded nightclub, cocaine made the bees much more enthusiastic communicators. This was not simply because they were generally more energetic: the extra enthusiasm was in order to communicate with nest mates.

Then, in a move sure to bring out the lawyers from the ACLU, they cut the poor bees’ supply off without any sort of publicly funded withdrawal program.

Barron’s team investigated whether the bees suffered withdrawal symptoms when the drug was removed. This involved giving the bees a cocaine diet for a week, then testing their ability to learn how to distinguish between two different smells. “The poor little buggers had to drink cocaine for a week. Then we just stopped it dead and we gave them a learning test,” said Barron. “Their performance absolutely crashed.”

Keep your eyes on the headlines from Australia. I predict that you will soon see gangs of apian soccer hooligans raiding people’s apartments and cars for drug money. We’re having enough problems with the Killer Bees already, guys! Couldn’t you experiment by giving them Valium or something?