One-line summaries for presidential candidates
From one of my favorite Ohio bloggers, Clark Street Blog:
Terse summarizations of the candidates/campaigns so far:
DEMOCRATS
OBAMA: Hope with me, dream with me, believe in me, vote for me.
CLINTON: Is the applause meter on?
EDWARDS: I am in this until the end. The END! Okay, never mind.
DODD: I would like to share some thoughtful remarks on some important matters of policy. Hey, is this thing on?
RICHARDSON: You want experience? How about Congress, Cabinet, Diplomat, and Governor? (* crickets *)
KUCINICH: We shall overcome, and we shall do it with drum circles.
BIDEN: Why do I keep tasting bits of shoe leather in my mouth?
GRAVEL: I don’t care who, and I don’t care why, but SOMEONE IS GETTIN’ A FIST SANDWICH.
REPUBLICANS
ROMNEY: Thanks to the internet, my positions are now available in real time.
McCAIN: America, thy name is victory.
HUCKABEE: America, thy name is victory for Jesus.
GIULIANI: I love Bush. I love Cheney. The last 7 years have been great. I say MORE COWBELL!
PAUL: Half of what I say makes total sense. Do you really care about the rest?
THOMPSON: Look, I really need this nap. I was at a costume party at my wife’s sorority until pretty late. I dressed up as Ronald Reagan.
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6 Responses to “One-line summaries for presidential candidates”
[...] The Moderate Voice, I found an amusing summary of the presidential candidates’ platforms assembled by the Clark [...]
Lol, those are actually pretty good.
I will update with Biden and a couple of others as soon as I have a second.
[...] The Moderate Voice – Domestic and international news analysis, irreverent comments, original reporti… wrote an interesting post today on One-line summaries for presidential candidatesHere’s a quick excerptOne-line summaries for presidential candidates February 5th, 2008 by Jill Miller Zimon From one of my favorite Ohio bloggers, Clark Street Blog: Terse summarizations of the candidates/campaigns so far: DEMOCRATS OBAMA: Hope with me, dream with me, believe in me, vote for me. CLINTON: Is the applause meter on? EDWARDS: I am in this until the end. The END! Okay, never mind. DODD: I would like to share some thoughtful remarks on some important matters of policy. Hey, is this thing on? RI [...]
Those are pretty good, thanks!
Those are pretty good, thanks!