One-line summaries for presidential candidates

From one of my favorite Ohio bloggers, Clark Street Blog:

Terse summarizations of the candidates/campaigns so far:

DEMOCRATS

OBAMA: Hope with me, dream with me, believe in me, vote for me.

CLINTON: Is the applause meter on?

EDWARDS: I am in this until the end. The END! Okay, never mind.

DODD: I would like to share some thoughtful remarks on some important matters of policy. Hey, is this thing on?

RICHARDSON: You want experience? How about Congress, Cabinet, Diplomat, and Governor? (* crickets *)

KUCINICH: We shall overcome, and we shall do it with drum circles.

BIDEN: Why do I keep tasting bits of shoe leather in my mouth?

GRAVEL: I don’t care who, and I don’t care why, but SOMEONE IS GETTIN’ A FIST SANDWICH.

REPUBLICANS

ROMNEY: Thanks to the internet, my positions are now available in real time.

McCAIN: America, thy name is victory.

HUCKABEE: America, thy name is victory for Jesus.

GIULIANI: I love Bush. I love Cheney. The last 7 years have been great. I say MORE COWBELL!

PAUL: Half of what I say makes total sense. Do you really care about the rest?

THOMPSON: Look, I really need this nap. I was at a costume party at my wife’s sorority until pretty late. I dressed up as Ronald Reagan.

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