Gary The Goat Acquitted

Gary the Goat

This just in from half way around the globe. Gary the Goat has been cleared of all felony and misdemeanor charges following an August rampage outside a government facility. After months of facing an angry constabulary, the mostly white/gray goat got a reprieve as the judge dropped all charges against the ovine malfeasor. I think goats are ovine, but I’m certain someone will correct me if they are not…it isn’t worth researching.

It seems that Gary, complete with goat beard, horns and all, decided in blatant violation of the law to snack on flowers outside of the Sydney Museum of Modern Art in Australia. Goat and owner, Jim Dezarnaul, were charged by local police with vandalism, in direct contravention of Australian law against consuming flowering plants on government property. Or something like that. Gary the Goat appeared with its owner in court to plead the case. They actually didn’t let the goat into the courtroom, but it would be a better story if they had. Determining that the floral ingestion was more likely negligent than malicious, the judge dismissed all charges. Goat and owner dashed from the courthouse to the waiting three ring circus of the Australian media’s microphones, where a good time was had by all.

And, thereby an Australian national hero is discovered.

Author: ELIJAH SWEETE

Contributor, aka tidbits