Late Night Comedians Love Herman Cain

RJ Matson, The St. Louis Post Dispatch

Here’s a cross section of Herman Cain jokes done on TV by late night comedians (culled from various posts on the web):

“Two women have accused Herman Cain of sexually suggestive behavior in the ’90s. He said no. He was just explaining to them his 69-9-9 plan.” –Jay Leno

“Herman Cain is having to respond to charges he once sexually harassed women. One German woman kept saying, ‘Nein! Nein! Nein!’” –Conan O’Brien

“When Herman Cain was in charge of the National Restaurant Association, there were allegations of sexual harassment. They have revealed one came from Sara Lee.” –David Letterman

“Herman Cain is the first candidate this year to use the word ‘consensual.’” –David Letterman

“Herman Cain was accused of sexually harassing two women in the ’90s. Which explains his new campaign slogan, ‘did somebody order a pizza with extra sausage?’” — Jimmy Fallon

“A Fox reporter asked Herman Cain if he’d ever had to pay anyone money to settle a sexual harassment claim. Herman Cain: ‘Outside of the Restaurant Association, absolutely not.’” –Jon Stewart

And then there are the instant classic Tweets of Andy Borowitz. Here are a few:

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I suspect that Herman Cain would stop running for President if someone let him run a Hooters.

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I have decided I would rather have Herman Cain sexually harass me than govern me.

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This Sunday, Herman Cain reminds everyone to set their clocks back 400 years.

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Herman Cain is qualified to be President in the way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

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I am less worried about Herman Cain’s sexual behavior than the fact he has never heard of Afghanistan.

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I would not trust Herman Cain to run a pizza place. Oh, wait.

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A sexual harasser has no business being President of the United States. He should be Prime Minister of Italy.

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Poll: Majority of Likely Voters Say They Were Sexually Harassed by Cain: bit.ly/rOXGoi

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BREAKING: Herman Cain’s Sex Life ‘His Own Business,’ Says Berlusconi

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Herman Cain’s sex scandal is actually the first sign that he might be qualified to be a politician: bit.ly/vAiBSI

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I had a bad feeling about Herman Cain ever since I found out his campaign slogan was, “You know you want it.”

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Let’s not let Cain’s sex scandal take attention away from his terrible ideas.

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Rick Perry: If Cain is Innocent, He Should be Executed: bit.ly/tweJNY

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Amid sex allegations, Herman Cain huddles with top advisors, Papa John and Little Caesar: bit.ly/tweJNY

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BREAKING: Despite Allegations, Morons Sticking By Cain