To The Norwegians: A Tiny Nation of Stalwart Hearts… and Stalwart Trees
Jul 26th, 2011 | 7 responses
Dear Souls of Norway:
I looked for a picture of something of Norway and her people that might represent this time. I found this picture of a beautiful Norway Pine, one who is limber and leans to the side, and yet remains strong. Like you. This tree belonging to you, is literally called “weeping Norway spruce,” like our “weeping willow” trees here in the USA are named too, for their green wands and leaves growing fountain-like.
My grandmother who was from the Old Country had a weeping willow in her side yard. But she could speak little English, and could not remember the name “weeping willow”… thus she called the weeping willow trees, the “sorry leaves.”
Many of us here on this side of the ocean, are like the ‘sorry leaves’ now, for you. We are swaying and bending and are so deeply sorry for all the pain you experience now. As a post-trauma specialist for four decades, I know that though there are near 100 souls who have perished right before your heart’s eyes, there are thousands of stories attached to each dear soul… and I hope you will write those stories, pray them, dance them, music them– for those in addition to calm silence– are said by most of the holy books across the world, to be many voices of Creator bending near to help heal us. Healed but scarred, this will be your endeavor now, remembering that scar tissue is stronger than skin.
I wanted to tell you too that I have moved to translate into Norwegian, a post-trauma recovery protocol for deputizing citizens in this much needed work of comfort and calming that will continue in the months forward in Norway once the shock burns lower and lower. Currently this protocol to help citizens know the signs, symptoms, ways of helping is translated into Farsi, Chinese, Haitian French, and soon Japanese. But especially I wanted to mention that when I put out the request for volunteer Norwegian translators for the protocol on my facebook page, within an hour, twenty native Norwegian speakers had volunteered. I just wanted you to know of the many hearts rushing toward you in so many ways. That there are so so many who are true and stalwart, like your hearts too.
I’ll be calling my Norwegian book publisher, Vigmostad & Bjorke, here in a few minutes. I stayed up late for you are now in the middle of your business day about 1:30PM while it is 5:30AM here. I wanted to give my condolences to my publishers who I know are young and single, and also middle-aged persons with teenage children. I’ll be offering to them too the counsel that they stay away from the news on television and print, for there is such a thing as secondary trauma that comes from repetitive news after a close-in tragedy. The dear people I cared for after the Columbine High School massacre and the survivor families of 9-11 on west and east coasts, found they were able to walk with more calm and strength when they did not watch in media that which is already indelibly engraved on their souls with flame.
In closing I wanted to tell you, as a poet, I love the Norwegian poets and want to bring this poem from your own land back to you, as miel, as we Latinos say, as honey over your hearts.
Be well and may arms greater surround you and comfort you siempe, always. There will be time enough to sort out all the who, why and wherefore. Let not the media and its interest in fingerpointing and guilt push you away from your central work which is to grieve and to heal, and to help others. May you ever have the resiliance of all the Norway pines, for now, the weeping spruce… and as time passes, the giant spruces who grow so tall and sway in any wind, proud and in grace.
This comes with warmest regards, and here is the beautiful poem by your own …Norwegian poet Olav H. Hauge.
CODA
Laertes, at the end of Olav H Hauge’s poem, is a figure from Greek mythology, who even as an old man, took down his sword in joy in order to run forward with his sons into another battle, then another, another, for it gave him a sense of meaning and life. Here in the poem by Olav Hauge, he has placed Laertes to living life instead of dwelling on strife: he shows him growing a massive new tree, a tender and nourishing fig tree, ‘holding the center of what can grow and fruit again’ …in other words, tending to that which bears sweet fruits, whilst others swirl in the cacophonous worldly world.
This is a poem I’ve shared for years with my patients who have lost so much in a disaster. It is not always a poem for a fresh wound, but for a wound that aches, later, or from time to time. It is a poem calling the person away from focus on the wound only, and back into the center of soul again: the care of the living ‘tree of life.’
Everyday
from Olav H Hauge’s poetry sheaves, Drops in the East Wind, 1966
You’ve left the big storms
behind you now.
You didn’t ask then
why you were born,
where you came from, where you were going to,
you were just there in the storm,
in the fire.
But it’s possible to live
in the everyday as well,
in the grey quiet day,
set potatoes, rake leaves,
carry brushwood.
There’s so much to think about here in the world,
one life is not enough for it all.
After work you can fry bacon
and read Chinese poems.
Old Laertes cut briars,
dug round his fig trees,
and let the heroes fight on at Troy.
This is a fruiting fig tree.
7 Responses to “To The Norwegians: A Tiny Nation of Stalwart Hearts… and Stalwart Trees”
dr. E:
Thank you so much for shedding a humane (and humanitarian) light on this tragedy and for your translation effort.
I hope you will never be looking for a Dutch translation of your post-trauma recovery protocol, but if such becomes necessary, I’ll try to apply my rusty Dutch to the effort (Have you contacted Robin’s “Watching America” translators?)
As a young military, I flew quite a bit into Fornebu and later, as a Lockheed engineer, I had a lot of personal contact with Norwegians. They are wonderful people living in a wonderful and,up to now, peaceful country.
I hope they can regain their peace and innocence.
Thanks again, dr.e, once more you amaze us with your kind heart and healing words and deeds.
Thank-you Dr E. I can only echo what Dorian and dd have already said. My heart goes out to the people of Norway.
Hi Dr E.
Such a beautiful poem and words to live by in its essence. Thank you once again for reaching out to a hurting spirit in those who don,t deserve to know the harsh realities that life, sometimes even seeks these out to try and steal innocence.
from all your good hearts, to the powers you hold dearest, may all your good wishes for others and for us all, come true, Dorian, JSpencer,Ras and dduck. Thank you for the comments; many from Norway …and London… and Iran… and Australia… and/ and…. have read this post and saw your comments and some wrote to me personally. They are so touched by your remarks.
Dear Dr. E:
I understand your intentions are well-meaning.
As somebody who was married to a Norwegian and lived there for four years, plus became pregnant twice and miscarried while in Norway, I strongly identify with what happened last week. We lived maybe a two hours’ drive from Oslo, a city I have visited many times.
Dear Dr. E:
To continue – I understand your intentions are well-meaning.
As somebody who was married to a Norwegian and lived there for four years, plus became pregnant twice and miscarried while in Norway, I strongly identify with what happened last week. We lived maybe a two hours’ drive from Oslo, a city I have visited many times.
I take exception to your viewpoints on Norway’s penal system and trauma. Not everybody who suffers trauma is in a position of “post traumatic stress.” There are those who suffer from “complex traumatic stress” because the perpetrators of the stresses have not ceased in their activities of harming others. There is nothing “post” about their trauma at all.
Foremost in this group are psychopaths. According to the experts in this field, such as Dr. Robert Hare, Dr. Paul Babiak, and Dr. David Kosson, psychopaths are born missing the part of the brain that governs conscience. No amount of treatment or understanding will get these individuals to change. Their mental make-up includes their delight in plotting chaos and executing harm on others. They are born this way. Just like a person born missing a limb or a digit, no amount of therapy, compassion, or understanding will cause those missing parts to appear, develop, and function “normally.”
Dr. Hare, in his book, “Without Conscience: Living in the Disturbing World of Psychopaths Among Us,” said that psychopaths are the closest to pure evil that we have in this world. Not because of demonic possession, but because they lack the human abilities to care about doing wrong.
Psychopaths most certainly do know that they are doing wrong; they simply do not care if others are harmed. In fact, they get great pleasure out of harming others.
Dr. Kosson and others have started a website for the victims of psychopaths at http://www.aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org. I strongly urge you to review all the information posted there and if necessary, contact its Board of Directors, which includes Dr. Kosson, Dr. Hare, and Dr. Babiak, for more information so that you fully understand the dangers psychopaths present.
I recognize that the research that Dr. Hare et al has done is new information for the field of psychotherapy. What must be understood is the harm current therapist inflicts on some clients because of the relentless push to be forgiving, understanding, and share what you feel. The victims are urged to forgive and try again. Aftermath and its experts agree the only course of action is no contact whatsoever.
Telling a psychopath, which is estimated to be 1% of the population (or one out of 100), or a sociopath (slightly less extreme in development than a psychopath with some tinge of a conscience,) which are estimated to be 4% of the population (or one out of 25,) how one feels by the harm that he or she has inflicted is handing the psychopath a roadmap to hurt more. Currently, there is a thread on Aftermath where one victim is confused because her soon-to-be-ex husband keeps hurting her. She sincerely believes that he doesn’t “get it.” I firmly believe he “gets it” and is laughing in delight over all the stories and feelings she keeps handing him on a gold plate. She is not yet in a place to accept that monsters such as these walk freely among us.
Studies have already proven that therapy is actually dangerous to give to a psychopath because a psychopath learns by feedback. They cannot feel so when psychopaths make a statement and they see disgust, fear, or horror reflected back to them, they now know that to fit in with society, the right expression is digust, fear, or whatever when they hear similar statements. They mimic others and have great skill at doing that. Many are also born with considerable charm. They are extremely likeable. People hand over personal information and initimate feelings constantly – and then they wonder how the perpetrators knew how to hurt them.
Norwegians are not stupid. They will listen to different viewpoints. They are very open to learning more.
They do not have a magical society that is perfect. When I lived there, I caught flak from the natives because I was “a stranger.” Genetically, I am identical to them. I am a second-generation-born American Swede. I was also told it was OK if I went to certain things, but not my Japanese friend. She was way too different. And, there were Norwegians who did not care for me because of my Swedish background.
I am not into punishing Anders Breivik at all. Psychopaths laugh off punishment. Punishment doesn’t register with them. Their psychological make-up has them convinced that the world got it wrong, not them.
But I do think psychopaths need to be contained and in the case of Anders Breivik, they need to be contained for life.
And if having a conscience is what sets humans apart from animals, then psychopaths are not human. We put down mad dogs because of the danger the impose on society. In case like Anders Breivik, if Norway wanted to put him down as well (which they will never do,) I wouldn’t oppose that.
Norway will learn from this, trust me on that one. They may be a peaceful people, but they will do what is necessary to survive. If you question that, read what they did to survive the Nazi occupation during WWII.
Norwegians do not forget. I know. I lived there.