Allow me to offer a modest prediction: Kyla Ebbert will rue the day that she made a big deal out of being taken aside by a Southwest Airlines employee at a San Diego airport when she tried to board a flight to Tucson because she had the temerity to wear a tank top and short skirt in 100-degree weather.
If you’re not hip to the tabloid sensation of the moment, the employee told the 23-year-old bottle blonde, who is waitressing at Hooters so she can attend college to become a marine biologist or something, that her dress was “inappropriate”and asked her to change.
(Back in the day, didn’t Playboy centerfolds always want to become marine biologists?)
Miss Ebbert apparently agreed to adjust her sweater to better shield her meal ticket, er . . . breasts from scrutiny and eventually was allowed to board the flight because she had no luggage and therefore no nun’s habit or burka to change into.
As you may know, Southwest is a no-frills airline, so it doesn’t carry wardrobes on its planes like upscale restaurants that provide jackets and ties for gentlemen who stumble in from the 19th hole wearing open-collar shirts.
Not content to let this silliness stand, Miss Ebbert went on the Today show with her mother and lawyer to exercise her constitutional rights and demand that Southwest offer an apology, which is the likely prelim to a lawsuit and . . . well, a photo spread in Playboy.
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?
We do know that Miss Ebbert was wearing panties for her network television debut — white panties, in fact — which she flashed as she sat down for a hard-hitting Matt Lauer interview. Just kidding. About the hard hitting.
Lauer made his nut through tough questioning of lawyers and sundry other folk involved in the O.J. Simpson murder case and trial, but he was a pussycat with Miss Ebbert and didn’t even ask what all America wants to know: Whether she was wearing a bra and panties when she tried to board the flight.
Come on, Matt!
About that regretting the whole thing thing: Miss Ebbert was flying to Tucson for a doctor’s appointment, which begs the question: Why? To get her oil changed? To have that mole on her You Know What removed? To take a physical for the Peace Corps? America wants to know that, too. Hell, it needs to know. And you can be sure it will, sooner or later.
As well as everything else tasteless and humiliating about Miss Ebbert that her 15 minutes of fame will never offset.