I knew, of course, that passage of Obamacare would lead to socialism in this country. But even I had no idea it would go down this path so quickly. Fifteen minutes after passage of that bill in Congress the other night there was a pounding on my door. It was a gang of thugs from the local Democratic Party headquarters who came to haul away my refrigerator for their clubhouse.
Things only got worse when I arrived at work. The boss had been forced to clean the restrooms and was chained to a toilet. Workers were liquored up on vodka and dancing on the desks, the ones who bothered to come in at all. Most were taking what they called “sick leave” and stayed home.
My health insurer called later in the morning to inform me that my new primary physician was Doctor X. My cardiac care would also henceforth be handled by a proctologist rather than my former cardiologist because the latter refused to accept new payment rates.
One of the taxes in this new health care bill hit me especially hard. It’s a tax on tanning parlors. With summer coming up, I will now have to get that healthy glow by actually going out in the sun rather than spending a few minutes in a well lit coffin-shaped box. Cry the beloved country!
What are we gonna do? What can we do? Sure, we have a couple hundred million guns stashed away. But what can they really offer in the way of protection against UN black helicopters manned by marijuana-crazed gay Dutch soldiers?
No. Best to bide our time. Until a new Republican administration passes a constitutional amendment guaranteeing the sacred right of every American not to purchase health insurance. Which naturally is what most Americans want. I mean, who really wants health insurance? In the interim, here’s a few steps that can at least assure one’s own personal freedom:
If you have a pre-existing condition, don’t seek medical help. They can’t force you to do so.
If your own present coverage doesn’t cover the cost of super expensive treatment, since you’ve lived free, now just die.
And don’t for any reason let your kids get their own medical care just because some socialist nuts think they should get it.
America has now taken the path long followed by every other rich country in the world when it comes to health care. That in itself shows how bad the idea must be. Let us now just pray that the Republicans will soon come to power again and save us. Those people have the roadmap to do healthcare properly. And one of these days, I feel sure, they will let us in on their still secret plan to do the job.