Note: For the sake of letting bygones be bygones, I have been pondering about posting this piece of political satire. However, after watching Palin’s absolutely lame and ghastly news conference tonight on the occasion of her gubernatorial pardon of the Alaska Thanksgiving turkey, I am just going to let it rip, and damn the torpedoes. (Parents, you may not want to let your small children watch how two or three turkeys get their heads chopped off…while Palin drones on)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJd_vm9VhpUI just read reports predicting that up to four million people are expected to jam our nation’s capital to participate in Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremonies and festivities.
The following silly (my “admirers” will call it “lame”) thought suddenly sprung to mind. What if, instead of the Obama-Biden ticket, the winning ticket had been an “Obama-Palin” one. What impact would such an administration have had on our collapsing economy?
With Sarah Palin’s super-star status, can you imagine the crowds that would be trekking to Washington to observe the coronation of not one, but two, super-celebrities? At least eight million? Perhaps more? What an even bigger shot in the arm this would have been for the travel industry, and for our economy, at a critical time.
As vice-presidential candidate, Palin had no problem splurging $150,000 for wardrobe and accessories in a few weeks. As vice-president, requiring even more fancy attire for herself and “silkier” underpinnings for the Vice-Dude, she would easily go through a figure ten times as large. What a boon for the high-class garment industry, and for our economy.
There are reports that the vice-presidential wannabe may get up to $7 million for a book that she may write. As a real vice-president in an Obama administration, Palin could have written a tell-all memoir (including how the President palls around with mongrel puppies and with his mother-in-law), which would surely fetch several times that amount. Knowing her admirable “Country First” dedication, she certainly would have contributed all of the proceeds to the ailing publishing industry.
With a Palin “drill, baby, drill—here, there and everywhere,” policy, including in Alaska’s ANWR, off our shores and beaches, and in other pristine wilderness and wildlife refuge areas, billions would have been pumped into the coffers of the oil industry–some of it hopefully would have trickled down to Joe the Plumber’s economy.
After drilling, baby, drilling, Palin could have applied her generous Alaskan redistribution of wealth policy to the other 49 states and could have sent every man, woman and child in America a yearly dividend check of at least $3,269—as Alaska residents are getting this fall. This would have really kick-started our economy.
And let’s not forget what a boost a Palin-sponsored policy of unrestricted, unfettered mining and logging in our national parks and preserves would have been to the mining, logging and trucking industries, and to all our Joe the Miners, Loggers and Truckers.
The bridge building industry would have been be in for a real revival, with the building of thousands of new bridges across our land, some leading to real places, some to nowhere. Regardless, this would have been a tremendous boost to the heavy construction industry, and one that would have trickled down to Bob, sorry, Joe the Builder’s economy.
The sports/hunting-aviation industry would be in for a significant upturn with a Palin policy of permitting unrestricted shooting at wolves and moose from helicopters and light aircraft. Imagine what a bonanza this would have been to all our Joe the Skinners.
Perhaps one of the biggest sources of revenue for the government, and for our economy, would have come from selling on e-Bay the thousands of surplus military and government aircraft presently sitting idly at aircraft graveyards in the Mojave desert and elsewhere. Again, Joe the Aircraft Mechanic would have been sitting pretty.
I know that Sarah Palin, with her vivid imagination (remember, she could see Russia from her home and had visions of Putin rearing his head over Alaskan airspace), could have come up with many more ingenious ideas to solve our nation’s economic woes.
Sadly, this wasn’t to be. We now will have to take our chances and plod along with an Obama-Biden administration.
In the meantime, I just feel sorry for all those turkeys in Wasilla, Alaska.
The author is a retired U.S. Air Force officer and a writer.