THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
Bush Vetoes Candy for Babies
Move Takes Candy From Over Four Million BabiesIn a move that seemed guaranteed to stir controversy, President Bush today vetoed a bill that would give candy to over four million babies.
With one stroke of a pen, Mr. Bush vetoed the Candy for Babies Act, a law that would have expanded candy benefits to America’s hungriest babies.
At the White House, aides to the president said that Mr. Bush was “unconcerned†that his veto would create the impression that he was, in effect, taking candy from babies.
“Being president means making tough decisions,†said White House press secretary Dana Perino. “If that means taking candy from babies, so be it.â€
Mr. Perino said that the $3 billion saved by vetoing the Candy for Babies Act would be used for one of Mr. Bush’s pet projects, a new program that would pay people to kick old ladies who are trying to cross the street.
The funding of the Kicking Old Ladies Act comes on the heels of another potentially unpopular move by the president, an executive order that would force puppies and kittens out of animal shelters and onto the streets in time for the winter.
There’s more so read the whole thing.
You can get and read Andy Borowitz’s other investigative reports here.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.