THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
Congress Hires Illegal Immigrants to Write Immigration Bill
Lawmakers Cite Cost SavingsIn an attempt to break the nagging logjam over immigration, congressional leaders announced today that they were hiring illegal immigrants to write the nation’s new immigration bill.
While some observers criticized the decision to employ illegals to draft the very bill that would regulate themselves, Sen. John Kyl (R-Arizona) said that the move was a “win-win†for the American people.
“No one understands the thorny issue of immigration better than the people who have been sneaking into our country,†Mr. Kyl said. “Plus, these folks work cheap.â€
One outspoken critic of the plan was CNN’s Lou Dobbs, who blasted Congress for putting illegal immigrants in charge of the nation’s immigration laws.
“This would be the equivalent of CNN outsourcing my xenophobic rants to Bangalore,†Mr. Dobbs said.
According to the plan, which went into effect at midnight, the U.S. will bus illegal aliens across the border to work as “guest congressmen†to draft the nation’s new immigration laws.
The illegals will remain in the country long enough to write the new immigration laws, after which they will be permitted to run for election for permanent congressman status.
There’s more so read the whole thing.
You can get and read Andy Borowitz’s other investigative reports here.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.