THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
Kucinich-Vilsack Race Turns Nasty
War of Words Heats Up at Bottom of Democratic HeapThe race to determine who the most obscure Democratic contender for president is took a nasty turn today, with both Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio and former Governor Tom Vilsack of Iowa laying claim to that title.
Much has been made of the competition at the top of the Democratic heap between Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York and Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois, but less coverage has been devoted to the Kucinich-Vilsack death-match, which has grown increasingly ugly in recent days.
“I got into this race because I wanted to be the candidate with the least shot of winning,� Rep. Kucinich told a Davenport rally attended by only three supporters. “Tom Vilsack isn’t going to take that away from me.�
Pointing to polls that show his name recognition at four percent, Rep. Kucinich dared Gov. Vilsack to wrest “the crown of obscurity� from his head.
“Tom Vilsack, you can try to make your campaign more futile than mine, but you will fail,� Rep. Kucinich said. “When it comes to obscurity, I will crush you like a bug.�
But at a rally in Cedar Rapids, Gov. Vilsack seemed unperturbed by Mr. Kucinich’s remarks, telling reporters, “Futility-wise, my campaign is on track.�
Mr. Vilsack noted that there were only two supporters in attendance at his rally, and pointed to a recent poll showing that he had only one percent name recognition.
“And that’s among members of my own family,� he said.
There’s more so read the whole thing.
You can read get Andy Borowitz’s other investigative reports here.
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.