THIS JUST IN from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:
Bush Sends Surge of 20,000 Democratic Presidential Candidates to Iraq
Army Transport Planes Arrive in IowaShowing his determination to increase the U.S. military presence in Iraq, President George W. Bush said today that he would send 20,000 Democratic presidential candidates surging into Baghdad.
In recent days, Congress has balked at Mr. Bush’s request for more troops, but by dispatching the Democratic presidential hopefuls the president appears to have circumvented his critics.
“A lot of these candidates seem to think they can do a better job in Iraq,� Mr. Bush chuckled. “This is their chance to prove it.�
The president said that Army transport planes would arrive in Iowa later in the day to transport Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York), Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), and 19,998 other Democratic candidates to Baghdad.
“This really is a win-win,� White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters. “I think I speak for everyone at the White House when I say that we can’t wait until these folks board those planes for Iraq.�
But even as Mr. Snow praised the president’s decision to dispatch thousands of presidential hopefuls to Baghdad, he fielded a question from a reporter who asked if the so-called surge would stretch the nation’s supply of Democratic candidates too thin.
“By our count, even after we send the 20,000, there will be more than 40,000 Democratic presidential candidates in reserve,� Mr. Snow said. “That’s more than enough in case war breaks out in Iran or North Korea.�
There’s more so read the whole thing. And check out Borowitz’s latest so-silly-it-must-be-real book:
Joe Gandelman is a former fulltime journalist who freelanced in India, Spain, Bangladesh and Cypress writing for publications such as the Christian Science Monitor and Newsweek. He also did radio reports from Madrid for NPR’s All Things Considered. He has worked on two U.S. newspapers and quit the news biz in 1990 to go into entertainment. He also has written for The Week and several online publications, did a column for Cagle Cartoons Syndicate and has appeared on CNN.