‘Twas the night before Christmas all through a House
Not a Speaker was stirring, not even the souse;
The Census was hung by the chimney with care,
In the hopes that 2012 would soon be there;
The Repubs were nestled all smug in their beds.
Visions of Tea Party plums danced in their heads;
And DeMint in his ‘kerchief and Coburn in his cap
Tried to settle down for a long winter’s nap,
When on the White House lawn rose such a clatter
Obama sprang from bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the bodies of new-fallen Dems
Gave the lustre of mid-day to Pelosi’s hems,
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and weird,
He knew in a moment it must be Harry Reid.
More rapid than earmarks his coursers they came,
And he whistled, shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Schumer! now, Boxer! now, Burris and Bennett!
On, Specter! on Dodd! comers, goers of the Senate!
To the top with START! to the top with Don’t Tell!
Now vote away! vote away! vote away like Hell!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the Capitol the Senators they flew,
With a sleigh full of votes, some Republicans too.
And then, in a twinkling, Barack heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.