Mr. B. You’re late this morning. And you’re looking tired, sir.
Just got back from Europe, Selig. Things are going downhill very quickly over there. I’m not sure that even we’ll be able to pull them back from the brink.
The way you did with our own economy, sir? It was a near thing here. Had you not been willing to become a commercial bank holding company, accepted those no interest loans from the Fed and that A.I.G. settlement, I don’t know if America would even have…
Let’s not think about that now, Selig. Sometimes an investment banker’s just gotta do what an investment banker’s gotta do. To save the little people, Washroom attendants, like yourself.
The misses includes you in her nightly prayers, sir.
Do send her my best regards. Now if only Europe…
Didn’t I hear something about Goldman and Greece?
You almost certainly did, Selig. Misreported, too, I’ll wager. To think a company like Goldman Sachs would actually stoop to helping a sovereign government fudge its books just so they could join the EU, just to make a few hundred million in fees…
No one who knows the way Goldman operates could possibly believe that, Mr. B.
But they do, Selig. Sometimes…
What, sir?
Sometimes I wish I could bag it all. Not have to play nice with smarmy reporters, with those hypocrites in Congress who take the scraps we throw them, then mouth off about our supposed shortcomings. Not be victimized by people jealous of our success. Not have to settle for a chump change bonus this year to appease the public. Do you know anybody these days who can get by with a yearly bonus of just a few million dollars?
Not anyone who uses this washroom, Mr. B. Of course if you included me…
Did you ever get around to fixing the ‘Do Not Disturb’ light up sign on the door of Stall Number 8, by the way?
All taken care of, sir. And I got in those classic old Aaron Spelling DVDs you requested as well. Right there on the shelf next to the player control panel.
The classics will always be classics, Selig.
Some things will never change, sir.
To be continued…