Should you teach your children that they are special? Jeff Zaslow says no:
Don Chance, a finance professor at Louisiana State University, says it dawned on him last spring. The semester was ending, and as usual, students were making a pilgrimage to his office, asking for the extra points needed to lift their grades to A’s.
“They felt so entitled,” he recalls, “and it just hit me. We can blame Mr. Rogers.”
Fred Rogers, the late TV icon, told several generations of children that they were “special” just for being whoever they were. He meant well, and he was a sterling role model in many ways. But what often got lost in his self-esteem-building patter was the idea that being special comes from working hard and having high expectations for yourself.
Now Mr. Rogers, like Dr. Spock before him, has been targeted for re-evaluation. And he’s not the only one. As educators and researchers struggle to define the new parameters of parenting, circa 2007, some are revisiting the language of child ego-boosting. What are the downsides of telling kids they’re special? Is it a mistake to have children call us by our first names? When we focus all conversations on our children’s lives, are we denying them the insights found when adults talk about adult things?
Let me, a conservative Dutchman, answer those questions: yes. Yes. Yes.
More?
Just being born does not make one special. What makes one special is that one takes full responsibility for one’s life, for one’s failure for one’s success. What makes one special is that one tries to be the best one can be. What makes one special is that one takes care of one’s family. What makes one special is that one chooses to serve others. What makes one special, is how one lives. Not that one lives.
And – I find it completely ridiculous that children are allowed to call their parents by their firsts names. It’s “mother” and “father,” or “mom” and “dad,” not “Jane” and “Joe.”
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