The Bush Wedding: Some Advice for the Happy Couple
May 10th, 2008 by JAZZ SHAW
By now, things should be getting underway in the run-up to this evening’s nuptial ceremonies for Jenna Bush and Henry Hager. I generally tend to feel sorry for the children of celebrities, politicians and other famous families. The wedding day should be one of the happiest in their lives and as private as they wish. For the high profile, this is often not the case. However, the Bush family seems to have done a good job of keeping this a private affair out on the ranch in Crawford, with only 200 or so family and friends, so well done on that.
Let me be among those to wish the couple happiness, long life, good health, prosperity and all the best for the future. I would also like to take a moment to pass along some bits of accumulated wisdom for you as you set off on this journey.
Stand together, no matter what. Particularly for those who may be in the public eye, marriage comes with a lot of pressures. No partnership is ever without problems down the long road ahead, but always stand together against all outside forces and lend your support whenever possible. Everyone likes a cheerleader sometimes in their moments of triumph and struggle. By marrying each other you just signed up for that job. Don’t forget it.
Never go to bed angry. I know that sounds like an old saw, but believe me… there’s some truth in the time worn sayings. If you find yourselves at odds, find some way to calm yourself before bedtime and say, “This is what I’m upset about. Even if it’s not resolved, I just wanted you to recognize that. I’m still with you.” Leaving poison to fester overnight is never, ever a good idea.
Find time to say “I love you” once per day. Even on the days when they may seem less than lovable. And make sure to make room to give your partner a kiss at least once a day, except when physical distance makes that impossible. And, over the years, allow yourselves the freedom to spend some time apart, but don’t make such times too often or too long. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but loneliness can breed anger and open the door to temptation.
Keep no secrets whatsoever. The only exception to this is a secret which you know in your heart your partner would be delighted to discover. And even then, make sure they discover it when the time is right.
Be open to new things. Never forget you are marrying an entire, other person. They have their own likes and dislikes. Nothing says you have to like all the same things, but be willing to try new things and be tolerant of those you don’t like.
Have your own friends. But never let them come before your partner. As much as we might wish it, no single person can “complete you” in all ways. Other friends in your social circle will allow you to full your life with joy. But they should never come before your spouse.
Be prepared. Even if you come from exceptionally fortunate circumstances, the future is never certain. Prepare for the hard times… financially, emotionally, physically. The hard times aren’t so hard if you’re ready for them before they arrive.
Adopt a pet. Or even a couple of them. It’s good practice for if and when you have children and they will brighten your lives. (Not to mention that so many of them need homes.) And when you do prepare for children, don’t give up on your pets. Contrary to mythic belief, cats do not suck the breath out of babies in the night, and any well raised, well loved animal will welcome a baby into the house and be no danger. Just be sensible about it.
Enjoy your youth together. While we all eventually find out that youth is wasted on the young, enjoy the strong, healthy days you share together now. They won’t last forever and will be some of the fond times you look back together on when your grandchildren gather at your knee.
UPDATE: Had to add one more from CStanley in the comments section because it really speaks the truth.
Grow in the same direction. Find time to reassess your priorities at intervals through the years and discuss them openly with each other. People grow- and the two of you won’t always grow in the same direction, but by sharing your evolving dreams you can be like two tree trunks that wind back and forth around one another instead of leaning farther and farther apart over time.
Again… best of luck to the newlyweds. Here’s wishing you all the best on your special day and in the future you will share together.
This entry was posted on Saturday, May 10th, 2008 at 8:21 am and is filed under Family, Society, Miscellaneous. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
