I have so far refrained from commenting on the sex and political scandals involving current U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner of New York and former U.S. Senator John Edwards of North Carolina. Some TMV readers might complain that this is an obvious oversight by an allegedly left-leaning blogger overlooking two Democrats.
This partisan charge is far from the truth as I have enjoyed many a good sex scandal regardless of the perpetrator’s political views. Besides I never discussed the Republican Governor of South Carolina who abandoned his American wife and public duties to run off with his Argentine mistress and “soul-mate.” He served out the remainder of his term but wisely chose not to run for re-election. Today he may be dancing the Tango with some other woman for all I care.
I admit to having previously wallowed in the sordid sex scandals of former Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of California and former IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn of France. In 2010 via TMV, I enjoyed commenting on the “sex-capades” of professional golfer Tiger Woods and international film director Roman Polanski. I have also discussed on TMV various sexual and organizational issues facing the Roman Catholic Church and its celibate priesthood.
Frankly, I’m burnt out by the persistence and volume of these sex scandals. Deep down I really don’t give a damn about Mssrs. Weiner and Edwards – along with the entire crew of powerful and wealthy men whose sexual antics have gone overboard. They must deal with the legal, financial and social consequences that result from their narcissism, stupidity, hubris, and inability to accept getting old.
It appears that some wealthy men have way too much “downtime” on their hands and we should find them some worthwhile things to do – such as working at a Planned Parenthood Clinic. I’ve also read that some physicians think these men might have a treatable problem in the wiring of their brains that makes them particularly risky and promiscuous. Just being a “sex addict” is not enought for insurance coverage purposes – we need a new acronym for a medically-recognized disease for which more drugs can be developed and sold.
The whole idea of “faithfulness and infidelity” in marriage might have to be revisited by our 21st Century society that has abandoned all moral and ethical moorings that “ole time religion” in the past might have provided.
I am going to assert a very narrow rule that infidelity only occurs in a standard marriage (a man-woman couple recognized by the state or a religious entity) wherein an outside relationship gets to the point where a penis penetrates a vagina. Other types of physical, emotional, intellectual and imaginary contacts (and not meeting the definition of a crime) are simply not breaches of the marriage contract.
This definition would exclude all types of kissing, hugging, texting, emailing, exchanging erotica, mutual masturbation, and everything outside the legal understanding of “sexual intercourse.” It would not include third-party sexual contacts by people who are just living together unless civil law considers them to be common law spouses.
Under this clear and simple definition, Representative Weiner was merely a stupid exhibitionist but not unfaithful, based upon the facts disclosed publicly to date. However Governor Schwarzenegger and Senator Edwards were unfaithful and there are two children as proof positive. I feel sorry for Rep. Weiner’s spouse who might be pregnant. Her husband is a certifiable moron – but not a “cheater” unless there is objective proof he had sexual intercourse with another woman.
If society wants to have a more expansive definition of “infidelity” to include a whole assortment of sexual or platonic interactions between people (in person or in cyberspace) we are probably asking for more confusion and needless pain to be inflicted on far too many people solely to enrich divorce lawyers. The number of married heterosexuals in the U.S. has fallen from a majority of couples a few decades ago to a distinct minority today.
For those in the GLBT community (particularly those in long-term, committed, same-sex unions) there really are no long-standing and well-established rules in this area. The GLBT community will probably be making up the new boundaries as things move along. It may be best to let the GLBT community determine these rules and the straight community should stay out of the debate. However some GLBT ideas might help the married heterosexual community that appears to be self-imploding all by itself.
Strictly gay men and lesbian women may eventually have a problem accepting “bisexual” individuals who think everyone on the planet is fair game. And everyone (straight, gay, bisexual and otherwise) may have to go back to the drawing boards when polygamy and polyandry become more acceptable in a few decades – unless global warming makes everyone avoid getting physically close to everyone else unless it is in an air-conditioned room that is only cooled by solar or wind energy.
Coverage of the Weiner exhibitionist affair has certainly dominated the attention of our 24/7 info-entertainment news media. These types of silly scandals have been, are, and will be perfect distractions from the depressing realities of our dysfunctional political and economic systems.
I hope to avoid commenting on all such gossip in the future. However, I really can’t promise anything and won’t because…well, who knows what new debauchery might occur in the future? (i.e. a bi-sexual polygamist defends himself against charges of infidelity by his two wives after he admits to having sex with a man who was previously married to one of his two wives.) But for now, I’m sticking to the boring stuff with which I am more comfortable.
There are two principle rules we have learned from these sex scandals of the past several years. (1) Men should always use condoms when having sex with someone other than their wives. (2) Everyone should avoid all social media and realize everything said and done using electronic communication devices will eventually become public.
Submitted on 6/9/11 by Marc Pascal ranting in Phoenix, Arizona.