While the world has been focused on the start of yet another U.S.military adventure, this one in Libya (so many tyrants, so few missile firing submarines), and on an earthquake that moved Japan’s largest island 17 feet, a lot of other news was being reported that didn’t get the attention it deserved. Here’s a quick catch up in case the following headlines passed under your radar — along with some of my own personal observations.
“Squirrel attacking residents of Vt. neighborhood.” A lot of people like squirrels. Think they’re cute. Me, I think they’re just rodents with bushy tails The fact that one of them is especially nasty (not rabid, by the way, squirrels don’t transmit the disease) surprises me not at all. In fact, while traveling cross-country a few years back I had a confrontation in Montana with a chipmunk apparently angry because I was using its picnic table. The beast drove me and my companion off. Thankfully, we made it back to our car unhurt, but the incident instilled in me a fear of small wild creatures generally — though you’d think they’d be nicer in Vermont.
“How the penis lost its spikes.” This headline is not a tawdry attempt at low humor but actually appeared in a nature magazine and therefore is of scientific interest. Which of course is what attracted me to it. Here’s the story in brief. A few hundred thousand years ago humans branched off from other ape-like creatures. Many of the others developed bumps (not spikes) on their males’ penises, which for reasons only Charles Darwin could explain, are now linked to areas in the same part of the brain where humans developed greater intelligence instead. I know. This sounds like an episode of “Seinfeld.” But you can check the story out on the Internet. And while doing so, you might mull over the question of which species ended up with the better deal.
“‘Zombie’ ants fall victim to mind-control fungus.” I won’t even attempt to describe what this story is about. It’s another one of those nature things. Let me simply refer you to certain outcomes of the mid-term election in this country instead, with the observation that a great many people who actually showed up to make their voices heard should have been sprayed with fungicide before being let into the voting booth.
“Lost city of Atlantis, swamped by tsunami, may be found.” No. Not the recent Japanese tsunami. One that supposedly took place thousands of years ago somewhere off the coast of Europe. While married to an astrologer many moons ago I heard a lot about Atlantis, which members of her circle believed was a continent, by the way, not a city. These folks leaned toward the notion that survivors of the drowned Atlantis escaped and established the civilizations of Europe. I thought it more likely they morphed in porpoises. Those wishing to pursue the Atlantis matter further are advised to drop out and tune into Donavan’s song of the same name.
“Vegan diet for dogs: A question of thriving vs. surviving.” Forget the actual story that went with this headline. What really got to me was the notion of imposing a human theory of eating on a pooch. My first thought here was to wonder if maybe Fido should only eat kosher. My mind then jumped to one of my all-time favorite TV commercials, which opened with the question: “Is your dog eating enough cheese?” That one made me think, I could tell you. I have a new favorite TV commercial these days, however. I saw if on one of those late night channels where burial insurance policies for people ” between 0 and 85″ are peddled. My current favorite commercial on this channel involves a beautifully colored $2 bill, real legal tender, being sold for $10 (plus postage and handling”. “But wait,” the announcer intones. “For a limited time only we’ll send you a second $2 bill free!” Only in America.
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