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What an Obama-Palin Administration Would Have Done For Our Economy

November 21st, 2008
By DORIAN DE WIND

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Note: For the sake of letting bygones be bygones, I have been pondering about posting this piece of political satire. However, after watching Palin’s absolutely lame and ghastly news conference tonight on the occasion of her gubernatorial pardon of the Alaska Thanksgiving turkey, I am just going to let it rip, and damn the torpedoes. (Parents, you may not want to let your small children watch how two or three turkeys get their heads chopped off…while Palin drones on)

I just read reports predicting that up to four million people are expected to jam our nation’s capital to participate in Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremonies and festivities.

The following silly (my “admirers” will call it “lame”) thought suddenly sprung to mind. What if, instead of the Obama-Biden ticket, the winning ticket had been an “Obama-Palin” one. What impact would such an administration have had on our collapsing economy?

With Sarah Palin’s super-star status, can you imagine the crowds that would be trekking to Washington to observe the coronation of not one, but two, super-celebrities? At least eight million? Perhaps more? What an even bigger shot in the arm this would have been for the travel industry, and for our economy, at a critical time.

As vice-presidential candidate, Palin had no problem splurging $150,000 for wardrobe and accessories in a few weeks. As vice-president, requiring even more fancy attire for herself and “silkier” underpinnings for the Vice-Dude, she would easily go through a figure ten times as large. What a boon for the high-class garment industry, and for our economy.

There are reports that the vice-presidential wannabe may get up to $7 million for a book that she may write. As a real vice-president in an Obama administration, Palin could have written a tell-all memoir (including how the President palls around with mongrel puppies and with his mother-in-law), which would surely fetch several times that amount. Knowing her admirable “Country First” dedication, she certainly would have contributed all of the proceeds to the ailing publishing industry.

With a Palin “drill, baby, drill—here, there and everywhere,” policy, including in Alaska’s ANWR, off our shores and beaches, and in other pristine wilderness and wildlife refuge areas, billions would have been pumped into the coffers of the oil industry–some of it hopefully would have trickled down to Joe the Plumber’s economy.

After drilling, baby, drilling, Palin could have applied her generous Alaskan redistribution of wealth policy to the other 49 states and could have sent every man, woman and child in America a yearly dividend check of at least $3,269—as Alaska residents are getting this fall. This would have really kick-started our economy.

And let’s not forget what a boost a Palin-sponsored policy of unrestricted, unfettered mining and logging in our national parks and preserves would have been to the mining, logging and trucking industries, and to all our Joe the Miners, Loggers and Truckers.

The bridge building industry would have been be in for a real revival, with the building of thousands of new bridges across our land, some leading to real places, some to nowhere. Regardless, this would have been a tremendous boost to the heavy construction industry, and one that would have trickled down to Bob, sorry, Joe the Builder’s economy.

The sports/hunting-aviation industry would be in for a significant upturn with a Palin policy of permitting unrestricted shooting at wolves and moose from helicopters and light aircraft. Imagine what a bonanza this would have been to all our Joe the Skinners.

Perhaps one of the biggest sources of revenue for the government, and for our economy, would have come from selling on e-Bay the thousands of surplus military and government aircraft presently sitting idly at aircraft graveyards in the Mojave desert and elsewhere. Again, Joe the Aircraft Mechanic would have been sitting pretty.

I know that Sarah Palin, with her vivid imagination (remember, she could see Russia from her home and had visions of Putin rearing his head over Alaskan airspace), could have come up with many more ingenious ideas to solve our nation’s economic woes.

Sadly, this wasn’t to be. We now will have to take our chances and plod along with an Obama-Biden administration.

In the meantime, I just feel sorry for all those turkeys in Wasilla, Alaska.



This entry was posted on Friday, November 21st, 2008 at 12:43 am and is filed under Infrastructure, Thanksgiving, Animal Rights, Sarah Palin, Financial Crisis, Transportation, Bridges, Satire, Barack Obama, Environment, Elections, Oil, Environmental Issues, Humor, 2008 Elections. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Viewing 30 Comments

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    I don't know about you but there is no way I will be eating tofurky. I like turky and I can live with one dying for my meal. I can eat it and I can stand to know where it came from. By the way Palin lost, it's time to move on.
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    I take it you'll be giving up ALL meat? Ever thought about how it gets to your table? (smile)
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    And the Sarah Palin Bashing just keeps on keeping on. Good.

    Bash away. Thats what they did to Hillary and if it wasnt for Obama she would be president elect right now.

    Bash away. Keep her in the news. Us Conservatives need hope and your incessant bashing of Palin just keeps it alive. Ronnie Reagan in the making. Alive, vibrant and positive. AFter 4 or 8 years of far left liberal muck the country will be ready for a fresh, hopeful, cheery Conservative to lead the way. So please keep her in the news and keep the bashfest going. I love it!!

    Thank you.
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    greenschemes:

    In the great (green)scheme of things, who knows, you may be right: all this "bashing" might get Palin the sympathy vote. But, Sarah Palin "Ronnie Reagan in the making"? Wow!

    As a Democrat who respected (and still does) president Reagan, please don't insult one of the better Conservative presidents our nation has had.
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    Palin has been a great vehicle for entertainment and we should be grateful for this in a time when smiles are getting harder to come by. The determination by some to take her too seriously is symptomatic of the "us vs. them" mentality that caused the GOP to crash and burn in the first place, so there is a lesson there for folks like greenschemes. If Palin is going to be the gift that keeps giving, then we should just all be glad humans have the capacity for humor.
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    Well, I must admit it was a bizarre choice of backdrop.

    But JSpencer, the "us vs. them" mentality of the GOP that you refer to is reinforced by repeated "gotcha" videos. . . clips . . . interviews that highlight supposed foibles of conservative leaders.

    For example, the "Bush Snub by Global Leaders" that the Left went ecstatic about. Turns out, it wasn't a snub at all.
    See Jeanne Moos explanation on CNN:

    http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/...

    Such "gotchas" are wearisomely familiar to conservatives . . . highlighted by the fact they are never, in my recollection, done to liberal leaders.
    I would point to Crazy Joe Biden's series of bizarro comments on TV during the election, that vanished down the MSM memory hole, never to be heard from again.

    Thus, I think, Greenschemes has a point here. I don't know what conservatives will be left for the MSM to mock for the next year or so . . . will we still be seeing Mock Palin videos in a year's time? . . . but this reinforces a sense of grievance on the right.
    Wilderness years are particularly fruitful for conservatives.
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    Marlowecan:

    I understand, appreciate, and perhaps even agree with your frustation with the "repeated 'gotcha' videos....clips....interviews that highlight supposed foibles of conservative leaders"

    But to then say, "the fact they are never, in my recollection, done to liberal leaders" is just ludicrous. Perhaps, when I have more time, I might post a long, long list of such. (Some of the readers with a quicker recollection may want to set the record straight right away)

    But, what does come to mind right away (and this isn't even a "gotcha"--but much worse) is the 24-7, endless loop of video and commentary by right wing TV and talk radio on the Rev. Wright, Bill Ayers, etc., sleaze and allegations against our president-elect.
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    Yes, if you eat meat or wear or own leather or use any other products from a deceased animal you cannot object to that video at all.

    It is the reality of meat-eating. And that guy was being very humane with his kills. They hang them upside down in those cone things and slit their throats very quickly. That guy was holding its feet so it wouldn't thrash about and feel pain in it's last waning moments of consciousness. All in all it looked like a very humane outfit. The turkeys inside were not crowded. There was ample ventilation in their coop (venting noxious ammonia) and the animals did not look stressed at all.

    That's how you keep a farm. My chickens, who will meet exactly the same fate as those in the photo, only with an axe and then hung from a tree to bleed, are free-ranging, healthy, fat and happy birds. They roost in the bushes at night or the hay stack and peck about the yard all day long. Our stock dog keeps a watchful eye on them at night and drives all predators away. Haven't lost a bird with her yet.

    And when the day comes for them to die, I assure you it will be a more painless and humane way than if a fox got them. Before we got this dog, we'd get racoons and fox killing them now and then. I'd find body parts strewn about the property..remains.. feathers everywhere. Can you imagine being slowly torn apart squawking for your life as something ate you alive? Let's just say that doesn't happen when we kill.

    If you eat meat, you have to kill it first. Them's the facts.
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    Dorian...

    Your response was interesting. I think we are talking about two different genres.

    You refer to the "endless loop of video and commentary by right wing TV and talk radio on the Rev. Wright, Bill Ayers etc". This is very true.

    While there was a bit of the Wright "Goddamn America" used, it was very little. The Bill Ayers was the GOP version of the classic "Guilt by Association" meme that Democrats have played against the GOP since the days of the "Moral Majority" linking Falwell and Co. to Reagan etc.

    But these are all side-liners. I am referring to the embarrasing videos/photos of the conservative/liberal leaders themselves.

    The X over Cheney's picture on the CNN video feed (with accompanying laughter from the control room on one notorious copy); the endless pictures of George W. scruching his face up in a bizarre way (of course, W. tends to do this all the time, so I will concede, Dorian, it is hard to find a normal shot of him sometimes :)

    Or the classic, and admittedly hilarious, shot -- folks here might recall -- of McCain behind Obama at a debate, tongue out, seeming to lunge zombie-like for Obama's butt.

    This last one was a one-in-a-million shot that is totally innocuous in context of the video of the debate. Yet it propagated virally.

    In contrast, there are never shots of liberal leaders in embarrassing poses. Obama is invariably shown gazing heroically into the middle distance.

    (There is, btw, consid