[icopyright one button toolbar]
Six months ago, when some unpatriotic Americans were caught up in that liberal, un-American conspiracy called the soccer World Cup, Ann Coulter brilliantly noted in her nine-point manifesto that there is no accountability in soccer, little self-expression, not much prospect for personal humiliation, for personal disgrace or major injury (“After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box”) and, God forbid, girls can play with boys in soccer. For all these reasons, Liberal moms — “soccer moms” — love this sport, Coulter suggested.
She concluded her manifesto with this sage observation.
If more ‘Americans’ are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch affected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
Not to be outshined, Fox News’ resident expert on psychiatry — and on conspiracy theory — Dr. Keith Ablow warned us that President Obama was using the World Cup to distract Americans at “a time when there are so many national and international issues of such prominence.”
“I think this is to distract people. This is like Rome. This is like Rome. I can see why Obama would love the World Cup…. I think it’s interesting that at time when there’s so much to pay attention to of such great import people are playing games – more than ever,” Dr. Ablow said.
Shamefully, Obama is at it again.
In today’s Borowitz Report we read how, two days after the release of an unusually strong jobs report, prominent Republicans are questioning President Obama’s “suspicious motives” for repairing the economy.
Andy Borowitz, reports that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, appearing on Fox News, has accused the President of “cynically fixing the economy to distract the American people.”
“This country faces serious problems, and I don’t think they can be swept under the rug by creating prosperity,” McConnell said, according to Borowitz.
The influential Senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, added immense substance and credibility to the allegations: “When there have been so many months of job growth, it does make you wonder what he’s up to…You add in the rising stock market and falling gas prices, and the whole thing doesn’t pass the smell test.”
Borowitz saves the best for last:
But the sternest rebuke came from House Speaker John Boehner, who warned, “If President Obama doesn’t stop fixing the economy, Congress has ways to make him stop.”
.
“If the President thinks he can fool the American people by putting them back to work and raising their wages, he’s headed for a rude awakening,” he said.
Don’t believe it? Read it all here.
Lead image: www.shutterstock.com
The author is a retired U.S. Air Force officer and a writer.