Repeal and Replace Paul Krugman
March 13, 2017
Note to readers: This is the latest entry in Super Baby DonDon’s diary. The series imagines that President Donald Trump has the emotional make-up of a five-year-old and confides his deepest thoughts—such as they are—to Andrew Feinberg, and to readers, every day. In his private moments, he always thinks of himself as Super Baby DonDon.
Oh, Super Baby DonDon is so mad!! I would have written this days ago but I was busy playing golf, setting another world record with a 53. In his Friday column in the New York Times, Paul Krugman not only called Paul Ryan a liar but called the entire Republican Party leadership liars. How could a truth-teller like Super Baby DonDon preside over a party of liars? It makes no sense.
Yes, yes, yes, my new TrumpsterCare plan gives to the rich and screws the poor and the middle class. But, hey, this is the essence of modern Republicanism. So where is the lying here? I don’t get it. If middle-class voters are too stupid to know that Republicans hate them, how is that my fault? I love the uneducated but, really, sometimes they have shit for brains.
So what am I going to do? I declare March 20th to be Paul Krugman is a Douche Day. Krugman is an Enomy of the People. He is my ENOMY because he attacks me all the time. We will begin the festivities by rescinding his Nobel Prize. (I can do that, right?) Then we’ll burn him in F uh G and I will initiate a government takeover of the New York Times, which will allow me to tell Mr. Krugman “You’re fired.”
Will this be a distraction from the TrumpsterCare dumpster fire? Of course! Look, folks, when it comes to TrumpsterCare, all I can say is “Bend over and spread ‘em.” Dr. Baby DonDon is putting on his latex gloves now.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven (https://www.amazon.com/Four-Score-Seven-Andrew-Feinberg/dp/0692664009), a novel that imagines that Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. He also writes an anti-Trump humor page at www.babydondon.com or https://www.facebook.com/MeBabyDonDon.