Parading For Mr. Bone Spurs (Column and Cartoon)
Question: How in the hell can we hold a military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue to show the world the might of our armed forces when our military is depleted like Donald Trump claims Obama left it?
Trump plans to increase military spending and reignite the Cold War by building up our nuclear arsenal. Apparently, nuclear weapons aren’t Twinkies, and they have expiration dates.
Now, he wants to spend millions of dollars on a military parade in Washington, D.C. He says it’s a great way to honor the troops. I think a better way would be to spend that money on healthcare for our troops, higher wages, and impeaching Trump, so he’s not the one making military decisions.
Trump has had a chubby for the military ever since he found out he wouldn’t actually have to serve in it himself. That’s OK because he did sacrifice for our nation by making himself rich and not paying people who work for him.
French President Emmanuel Macron made things even worse by inviting Trump to his nation’s Bastille Day Parade. This parade is a huge tradition in France going all the way back to 1880 and their military is a large part of it. There are tanks, jets, soldiers, and horses on full display celebrating all the times France didn’t surrender. When Germany occupied France in World War II, they held a military parade on the same route. That’s a little insulting.
Ever since Trump saw the display of France’s military in a parade, he hasn’t been able to shut up about it. If I went to France, I’d probably still be thinking about the cheese. But for Trump, it’s been nothing but “French parade this, French parade that, no collusion, bigly” on a constant stream. It’s one of a thousand reasons Melania has her own bedroom (it’s not just the cheeseburgers).
The idea of a military parade isn’t very popular with people who don’t take a fancy to fascism. Hitler and Mussolini threw big military parades. The Soviet Union was quite fond of them. North Korea has them all the time so their people can see what the government spends money on and why they can’t eat.
Other than being totalitarian nations, each of those countries have one thing in common. Their military is their greatest strength. Our military is wonderful. The people who serve in it are awesome. But, our armed forces are not our greatest asset. It’s our people, our freedom, our Constitution, and our diversity. World leaders may look at our country and want to emulate our army, but their people want to copy our freedom. Nationalism has never made a nation great.
Nationalism is for small-brained people who have to accentuate and lie about things being bigger than they actually are, so they can feel good about themselves.
We don’t need a parade of 70-ton tanks chewing up Pennsylvania Avenue to show the world we’re the biggest kid on the block. They already know it.
Trump has been hankering for a military parade since before his inauguration. In fact, he wanted tanks for his inaugural parade. Instead, he had to settle for tractors and Three Doors Down. Since he can’t order Pearl Jam to play for him, he’s ordering the military to put on a show. Why can’t he be happy being the baby with two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only has one?
I’m sure Trump can’t wait to show Kim Jong Un that he too can wave at passing tanks and missiles from a podium. Maybe, instead of firing missiles at each other, Kim and the dotard can just have competing parades.
Senator Tammy Duckworth, a combat veteran who lost both of her legs in Iraq, called Trump “Cadet Bone Spurs” after he accused Democrats of being un-American and traitors for not clapping for him. Maybe if Trump had actually served in the military, he would be going all Call of Duty in the streets of our nation’s capital.
But, hey…let’s waste millions of dollars throwing a military parade for the guy who said P.O.W.s are not heroes and insults Gold Star Families.
Email Clay Jones [email protected]