Mr. Justice, Hulk Hogan
I know what you’re thinking: that’s crazy. Go ahead and laugh. Not only is the former professional wrestler eligible to sit on the Supreme Court, he is far from the worst possible choice. Corey Lewandowski is also eligible, and let’s face it: Trump owes him huge. The Senate is the only thing standing between Trump and the appointment of the guy from Duck Dynasty to the Bench.
The Constitution does not specify qualifications for Justices such as age, education, profession, or native-born citizenship. A Justice does not have to be a lawyer or a law school graduate.– Supreme Court.gov FAQ.
It may be true that Hulk would have trouble with the legal analysis of the right of privacy, as falling under the penumbra of rights created by the Ninth Amendment to the Constitution. But who needs that? Hulk can follow the beginner’s prescript: write what you know. All he has to do is say, “No way, Brother.” We can look forward eagerly to Hulk’s pithy opinions.
Hogan, whose name is Terry Bollea, holds a judgment of $140 million against Gawker Entertainment for posting a sex movie of him and Heather Clem, ex-wife of Bubba the Love Sponge. Gawker is fighting the judgment. If the case ever reaches the High Court, Hulk no doubt would recuse himself.
This can only happen if Trump and the GOP run the table this fall. Trump and especially the Senate may take some heat for allowing a retired wrestler to be seated for life. A filibuster-proof majority sure can ease the sting.
Considering the alternatives, Hulk might be the best of the lot. Trump has a long list of unemployed celebrity endorsers, and they can’t all be Ambassadors. Gary Busey, for instance, hasn’t gotten much work lately. His appointment would make oral arguments more lively. Charlie Sheen’s presence in case conferences would change the Court’s internal dynamics. I assume RBG will not be attending the opera with him. Trump is deeply indebted to Sarah Palin, and she would be a popular pick. But how will she know when to step down halfway through a lifetime appointment?
Considering the possibilities, Trump’s appointment of his sister, Senior Circuit Judge Maryanne Barry, would give Nepotism a good name.
Republished from The Revolted Colonies (TM)