John Roberts, Supreme Court nominee! A “conservative non-ideologue”! I have no substantial thoughts on this guy – he’s been a government flack most of his career. But you can’t beat that name – what says America more than “John Roberts”? He could’ve been a pilgrim. I’ll also welcome his nomination because…he’s attractive.
It’s been decades since someone really good-looking served on the High Court. Rehnquist – Tales from the Crypt. Scalia – Sandra Bullock’s lecherous neighbor in “While You Were Sleeping.” Thomas – Urkel. Kennedy – elderly lesbian. O’Connor – Betty White, post-“Girls.” Ginsburg – school marm. Souter – troll (or Noel on “Frasier”). Stevens – Tucker Carlson in 30 years. Breyer – looks happily stoned. But Roberts is the all-star high-school quarterback that became lead anchor for the network affiliate. How can you possibly get mad or filibuster this beautiful face? Grrr…
Someone needs to the start the Free John Roberts’ Hotness coalition and lobby the High Court to open the court to cameras, so our tabloids and glossies can have hot John Roberts spreads…and cover Supreme Court cases for a change. It’s all to educate the kids! Wouldn’t you, as a parent, be happier if your daughter put up a John Roberts centerfold instead of that sleazy Brit Jude Law? Idolize an American – the American, John Roberts!
I’m a tech journalist who’s making a TV show about a college newspaper.